Welcome to the Backup Blog!!

All important posts from my old Posterous blog have been ported over to this blog, because apparently Posterous is going down soon

All posts are tagged, so you shouldn't have any trouble finding anything

The tags:
(comments in bold are important)

AMVs -- All posts tagged with this have an AMV in them somewhere
BY THE WAY I didn't get all AMVs ported over (I didn't port over all posts with AMVs, mainly). If you ever are searching for an AMV that you know/think I've posted, just ask me about it and I'll probably be able to tell you which one you're looking for!

Chapter commentary -- these post are all chapter commentary, obviously. All posts are now labeled so they tell you which chapter the commentary is for
If you're looking for a specific commentary, they're all under this tag, so it shouldn't be hard. If you don't want to sift through a couple of pages, I suppose you can try searching ch__ (fill that blank with a chapter number) since that's how they're labeled. Not sure if it'll yield results; the search feature on these blogs isn't the greatest 

Edd -- these posts concern Edd and explanations I've given about him

Important things -- posts I found important but weren't necessarily chapter commentary or review replies

light/dark -- posts that concern my rants about light and darkness that I like doing

Other crap -- posts I ported over because I like them/other reasons but aren't important or anything else (I only wanted to tag them so I could say all posts are tagged)

Pictures -- these posts have pictures in them (whether it be fanart I've found or my own artwork)

Review replies -- this is now separate from the chapter commentary tag! Yay! However, most of these posts overlap, so you'll find a lot of chapter commentary tagged under "review replies" because I used to do both at the same time remember?

Saved comments -- I created this tag because I thought there were more comments that I'd saved from the old blog... oh well... But these are conversations that took place in the comment section in the old blog that I decided to keep
If there is any set of comments on any post of the old blog that you would like to not be deleted forever, let me know and I'll go rescue it
UPDATE: Posterous is officially down, and all comments I didn't save are now lost. As much of a shame as that is... *sigh*

Song breakdown -- these are posts that I've done song breakdowns in


ANYWAY

I originally created this blog with the intent of even making it look like the old blog, but I discovered that my eyes really don't like the white text on a dark background. I will probably never use such a color scheme again because I can't read it.

And... uhmm... that's kind of it! This blog is really mainly here for resource purposes (like if you want to read an old chapter commentary or something)

OH WAIT! All comments made in bold on older posts are comments that I made as of porting them over to this blog. Some of them correct continuity things and others are just random notes. Thought I'd let you know!

It just...HIT me all of a sudden

Song - Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin

~~

I... seriously don't know where this came from. I was listening to the song while writing, and it really just hit me. HARD.

This song fits Shad

and...

how he feels about loving Kairi.

Because he loves her. He'll just never admit it because it shouldn't technically be possible and he's confused and angry about it

which is... what this song portrays

his frustration towards the fact that he loves her.

and... I know you haven't actually seen it in story yet. Not all of it anyway, and, hey, count yourselves lucky! I'm sort of telling you something before it shows up in-story! But, I didn't want to lose this rant... and I hate saving things til later, because then I never quite feel the same way towards them and it always comes out like crap.

so...

yeah.

This song just... really fits him. It's got that anger and yet that cockiness underneath it, which Breaking Benjamin is really good at... (I think. I've only really listen to two of their songs, but both of them are like that... soo...)

anyway

---

"If I had to, I would put myself right besides you, so let me ask: 'would you like that?'"
~let's see... this is how Shad sorta feels towards Kairi... the "I really do want to be with you, even there's no possible way it's going to actually happen, but maybe I'll try to force it anyway" (which, if you remember that AMV I posted awhile back "A Poisonous Infatuation", seems to fit Vanitas in that AMV...)

"Something's getting in the way"
~*cough* the fact he shouldn't be able to feel love *cough cough*

"Something's just about to break"
~eh... I can't think of anything to say about this line that isn't entirely spoiler-y.

"I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane"
~metaphor here! this would basically be "I will try and find my place in Kairi's life"

"So tell me how it should be"
~I feel like he'd be yelling at someone here. Sora, maybe? Kairi (if he had the guts to yell at her). This would be... frustration about not quite understanding quite understanding how it's possible for him to love her. Or, him demanding to know how things are supposed to work out. Sheesh, you put him yelling this line and a million different possiblities about what he's yelling about surface

"Try to find out what makes you tick"
~Do I need to explain this line? It is such a Shad line...

"As I lie down, sore and sick"
~erm, I don't have anything specific for this one. And the only thing I can think of is spoilery and only barely applies

"There's a fine line between love and hate"
~that fine line he's walking between loving Kairi and absolutely hating the fact that he does

"And I don't mind"
~well, this would imply that he doesn't mind that line. Maybe it's because he enjoys the frustration in some weird twisted way that only Shad (okay, maybe Vanitas, too) could pull.
or, fish, maybe it just doesn't fit

already explained the chorus...

"As I burn another page"
~Hmm... I think of a page of Namine's sketchbook on this line. It's probably because of the AMV I typically watch...
However, you could take this line as him trying to hide his identity, because if Kairi finds out who he really is he's completley screwed

"As I look the other way"
~umm... I feel guilt with this line. Not sure about what.

"Desperate I will crawl"
~He's desperate. Desperate about... eh... a lot of things? This is like the "So tell me how it should be" line. You can put so many different spins on it...

"Waiting for so long; there's no love"
~These two lines go together. He's... waiting for things to work out? His feeling for Kairi to go away? Trying to get himself to snap out of it?

good gravy, Shad! You're confusing me!

"Die for anyone; what have I become!?"
~He's shouting again. And I know exactly what about. I can't say what because it's spoilers.

and...

that's it...

Hymn for the Missing

betterish breakdown on the SoKai page

these posts are probably just going to come whenever something hits me

though, I swear, I will have that "Never Go Back" one up... eventually...

~~

Song - Hymn for the Missing by Red

~~

I was just listening to a mix of Red, and then this song came on, and I'm like... "huh." Because, it kind of fit's SoKai. Really. It makes me think of where they are currently in the fic (specifically what'll happen in a scene that hasn't happened yet, but I am NEARLY there. I'll mention it to you guys when it comes up)

And... that's about it... I'll just do a break down of it, and you'll understand

~~

in fact, this is one of the more simpler breakdowns I will probably ever do, because the song really speaks for itself once you know who is singing what.

and, for the sake of being less confusing

Sora - regular font

Kairi - italics 

now if you excuse me, I'm going to be lazy and just copy and paste the lyrics instead of typing them up

I tried to walk together
But the night was growing dark
Thought you were beside me
But I reached and you were gone
Sometimes I hear you calling
From some lost and distant shore
I hear you crying softly for the way it was before

~ Sora's thinking about Kairi. I'd say more, but it would be over explaining

Where are you now?
Are you lost?
Will I find you again?
Are you alone?
Are you afraid? (Kairi's worried about him)
Are you searching for me? (Sora interrupts her with his own curious/worried/hopeful thoughts)
Why did you go? (She asks)
I had to stay (He replies. I know it doesn't ENTIRELY make sense splitting it here, but it's like he's saying "I had to stay away from you")
Now I'm reaching for you
Will you wait? will you wait?
Will I see you again? (Now he wants to know how she feels)

You took it with you when you left
These scars are just a trace
Now it wanders lost and wounded
This heart that I misplaced

~ this was hard to place, but I gave it to Kairi. It makes more sense that she sings it than Sora (I question the accuracy of this verse at all, but, I also have yet to find a song that is absolutely PERFECT for a character)

Where are you now?
Are you lost?
Will I find you again?
Are you alone?
Are you afraid?
Are you searching for me?
Why did you go?
I had to stay
Now I'm reaching for you
Will you wait? will you wait?
Will I see you again?

~~

I think the song captures rather accurately (as a whole: see my concerns about the second verse) the feeling of SoKai. With his worry about how he feels about her, and her hope for him.

or... the hope she had, since Shad brutally crushed all her hope by telling her that Sora was gone...

What was that I said about doing one of these when they hit me?

well, one hit me.

Song: Watch You Crawl - Red

~~

So... this song is SoravsShad. I thought that a while ago, but I just now figured out how to swing that based on the lyrics. So... BLOGGING TIME!!

This is actually staged like a battle. Like, if I ever were to put my fic into a musical, Sora and Shad would randomly start singing this while fighting.

You put my back against the wall
Watching, waiting
~This is Sora (and I don't have anything else to say on it)

You never thought I'd get this far
Beneath your skin
~this is Shad, taunting Sora

I watched you swim with all your lies
That pulled you under
~Sora taunting back, trying to prove he's stronger

And as you wait for my demise
I'm just getting stronger
~Shad laughing at Sora's determination

Learning who you really are
And nothing can save you
~Sora... uhm... I think this is self-explanitory

I will fight until the end
Get ready to collide
~Sora re-initiating the battle

And I will watch you fall again
I'll bury you alive
~Shad's comeback as he probably dodges and maybe even trips Sora (he decided he wanted to put that literal spin on it)

You try to bring me to my knees
Trying to take it all
Now I will stand and watch you crawl
~Sora's comeback to Shad's comeback

I'll put you back where you belong
Hopeless, fading
~Sora repeating his determination to get rid of Shad

And I will rise while you become the monster you have fed
I'll let you drown in your despair
And now nothing can save you
~Shad taunting Sora, laughing, wondering how the hell Sora could ever think that he was going to win this

I will fight until the end
Get ready to collide
~Sora angrily getting back to his feet and fighting again

And I will watch you fall again
I'll bury you alive
~Shad replies with his typical response, reminding Sora it's useless

You try to bring me to my knees
Trying to take it all
Now I will stand and watch you crawl
~And Sora replies with determination to

I'm still here
Now I watch you beg
~I... I don't have any paticular person to peg to this. It could be either. Shad taunting Sora, or Sora finally snapping and shouting at Shad.

and then... the chorus again. I mean, I'd do the sortof "battle-breakdown" of it, but since I don't know who says the previous line, I can't.

I'll Be Here in the Morning if you Say Stay

I've been wanting to do one of these posts for a while, ever since I was listening to Evanescence's "Never Go Back" and related it to my fic. However... that post can wait. Right now I am in a very Kairi mood, and therefore am doing a post on this song.

Stay - Safetysuit

I'm going to start this off by saying that Safetysuit is an absolutely wonderful band. Of their (only) album "Life Left to Go" there's only one song that I don't like, and that's only because it's a really slow song and I just can't relate to it at all (the song happens to be "Gone Away" in case you're wondering) 

"Annie" happens to be my personal favorite, though only narrowly. "The Moment" is fun to listen to, as is "Apology". "What If" and "Anywhere but Here" are just beautiful. 

But enough about the album.

~~~

"Stay" is, very simply, my SoKai song for Falling to Pieces, and possibly the rest of the series, too. 

And, I'm going to really quickly give you an overview of how it applies and then break it down lyric by lyric, okay?

"Stay" captures Kairi's desperate attempts to keep Sora from falling into darkness almost perfectly. It portrays this sense of "hey, this isn't right, you should really stop... I just don't have the heart to stop you myself... please come back..." The way she tries to stay with him, even though he's very quickly leaving her behind, the way she tries to trust him, tries to be kind to him, even though he's almost completely gone. And, definitely, it portrays how she's not mad with him; that all she wants is him to come back to her.

"Walking out the door this morning wondering what it is that's going on with you,"
Do I need to explain this one?
Kairi's shock and confusion upon first seeing who Sora's becoming...

"Thinking of a way to say I'm sorry for something I'm not sure I do,"
She'll apologize for something she hasn't done, just as long as it brings him back

The chorus is almost self-explanatory.

"Something must have made you say that; what did I do?"
Kairi's not necessarily one to blame herself, though, but the point is there.

"What can I do to make you say 'come back to me'?"
well, this one doesn't fit perfectly, but perfection is hard to come by. I've found few songs that every singly lyric happens to fit. However, the heart of this would be:
"What can I do to make you come back?" 

"So come on baby let me in and show me what this really is about,"
another self-explanatory one...

"And I'll be here in the morning if you say stay,"
 She's not about to leave him. If she did leave, it would only be at his request.

~~~

hrm... I thought I would have more to say than that.

oh well. Why don't you just go listen to the song yourself?

This is random, I’ll admit (light/dark discussion thing)

but maybe it's not random, considering I just read "Contrast" (which Flightfoot was so kind to post a link to the translation on the previous post, I'll give you a link on this in case you missed it)

I laughed at Terra's dislike of sweets

and then Van and Ven--

I found my soft spot for Van. The novels really portray him in a different light (a light that makes me want to strangle Xehanort *fingers twitch around hilt of Master Sword* even though Master Swords and strangling have nothing in common)

Anyway

it made me think of this video

which I think parallels the relationship between Van and Ven, and then Roxas and Sora quite nicely

(and though the song sounds way too happy to fit a sort of video, go read the translation)

http://www.animelyrics.com/doujin/vocaloid/damiidamii.htm

The song describes very well the relationship between Van and Ven, especially the: "But the more I tried to look for the answer, the stronger the urge I'd feel to kill the self of me who's laughing with someone"

Which, btw, is what Miku's singing when it shows the picture of Terra, Aqua, and Ven laughing and Van's watching them

Obviously

The lyrics, I'll admit, get more obscure after that, but maybe that's because I'm not looking them in a light that fits Roxas and Sora. But whatev.

It's not entirely my fault I can't get my my brain to stop thinking Ven/Van. I really do love their relationship. Not saying I ship them or anything (I find it sad that I have to clarify this...). I love their relationship as it is: light and darkness, two halves of the same whole, all that. I've always loved things like that (there's a recurring theme of twins who one wields light and one weilds darkness in the novels I try to write) and have only just now figured out how to portray a relationship between those kinds of characters.

Because it's not just dark and light

there's their relationship, too -- or the relationship as I've come to love it; being two sides of the same coin, whether you like it or not.

Anyway

I'm going to move on now. I lost whatever point I had originally for this, and I need to finish the stupid question answering thing, because there's too much going on in the next chapter of Dead Inside itself, and it'll require like three seperate blog posts. I'd like to wait until I'm done with anniversary stuff to worry about that.

btw, here's the link to Contrast, in case you missed it

http://remember-kingdom-hearts.tumblr.com/post/28870649241/bonus-translation-...

and if you haven't read Dark Memory yet, read it here (at first I posted the wrong link, but it's fixed now)

http://remember-kingdom-hearts.tumblr.com/post/28798364782/bonus-translation-of-the-novel-chapter-dark-memory

Yes! Go ahead! Plot book 5, everyone! (Hilarious conversation)

Reposting because I found this post hilarious

I was up till... 12 last night? all because certain people WOULDN'T shut up! *glares at Shadow*

Shadow: what? You know you WANTED that conversation!

me: ug... okay... yeah I did... but still.

Kairi: it's their fault! *glares at Sora's parents!*

me: (sternly )Kairi! Don't blame them! It's not entirely their fault.

Shadow: umm... yeah it is...

me: *sighs* Sora was the one who started it...

Sora: *throws hands up in defeat* YOU were thinking about it.

me: hey! I was having a hard time focusing! Namine and Riku have been quiet lately...

Namine: it's only because you were writing that random crap Hollow Bastion scene

me: which I was only writing because you insisted!

Namine: *starts to argue, but frowns* okay... I did insist...

Riku: hey, I don't-

me: Riku! we're not going there!

Riku: *pouts*

Shadow: You know... we've strayed away from the original point...

Kairi: (angrily) Right! Sora's parents!

me: (sternly again) Kairi... no need to yell at them...

Kairi: No need? There is EVERY need!

Me: KAIRI! SHUT UP! We've got another year before this actually happens! And it only turned out as bad as it did because Xehanort went and meddled! If you want to yell at anyone, go yell at him!

Edd: but she already-

me: Edd! What are you doing here!?

Zack: bothering you, duh!

me: *rubs head* THIS is why I stopped doing these things

Riku: yeah, because your mind wanders and random crap characters show up! Oh well, it's not as bad as that one time where you had like... Tippi, Navi, Link, then I got smothered by fangirls-

me: no, that was the Real Riku.

Riku: oh it was? *bursts out laughing*

me: *groan*

Zack: you guys were complaining about Xehanort, right?

Kairi: no, I'm still complaining about Sora's parents

Sora:*turns to Zack* I could complain about Xehanort, if you want.

Shadow: *hasty look at Aerith* that MIGHT be a bad idea

Zack: sorry! I can- I can GO if you guys need me to. 

me: that might not be a bad idea, Zack, sorry.

Zack: ah, it's nothing. I can go do something else... *heads off*

Kairi: right, now where were we?

Sora: NOT complaining about my parents.

Kairi: but-

me: Kairi! Leave it alone! We already wrote it off as Xehanort meddling-

Zack: again

me: Zack!

Zack: sorry! Sorry... *leaves*

Shadow: How many times is this that Xehanort's meddled?

me: only twice... but it is annoying...

Sora: *makes a face* it is...

me: It wouldn't be as bad if he didn't solve my problems in doing so!

Riku: *frowns* actually... he's meddled and fixed your problems three times now...

me: he ha- oh...

Riku: (smugly) yup.

Me: I thought 37 was mostly responsible for that.

Riku: no, remember? Xehanort was the only reason he actually bothered. Otherwise he would've just-

me: we should stop talking now before we give too much info away...

yeah... so... that was fun...

just in case you didn't catch, my characters have been extremely distracting lately. Sora, Kairi, Aqua (who didn't want to show up in that conversation for some reason...) Xehanort and Shadow-

Kairi: and Sora's parents!

And Sora's parents were all talking last night. I suppose I wouldn't have minded, but they were all plotting book 5. Even Shadow! And I could've SWORN he didn't make it out of Dead Inside!

Shadow: I never said I made it out... I was merely throwing ideas around last night

*Groan* okay, whatever. The point is, everyone was plotting book 5 last night-

Riku: me and Namine weren't!

No! you weren't, but you have almost no part in- ug! nevermind, stupid blog. I have to go anyway.... *leaves*

About Riku's memories 2

read first post here
They didn't end up together because they were labeled separate things whoops
actually it happened because one was labeled review replies and the other wasn't

technically, this conversation happened in a comment thread, but It was so long I figured I'd post it in a new blog. 

Flightfoot asked: Building replicas isn't the only thing that memories are good for. Saix should have looked through them to see if there was any useful information on how to defeat Repliku in them. Also, it may have been helpful to see what the Organization in AtP was like, so that he could avoid the pitfalls that they stepped into. In addition, I'd imagine that looking into Repliku's memories may be helpful in figuring out what is causing meltdowns and how to prevent them.

If Repliku's memories contain the fake memories that Namine planted, then the other Riku's memories may have been helpful in figuring out what was going to happen next in "Falling to Pieces", and his fake memories may be helpful in figuring out what was going on in "Falling to Pieces". At the very least, people should have checked to see if this sort of useful information was contained in Repliku's memories

I replied:

Holy flip, I almost need another blog post to respond to that...

You do bring up some good points, Flightfoot! Really making me think!

Alright, I suppose Saix COULD have gone through his memories to figure out his weaknesses and all that. I don't have a rationalization for why he DIDN'T, except that he never thought that Riku would be such a threat... which... well... doesn't entirely work.

However, for that second question, you have to keep in mind Repliku didn't live long. He saw only what happened inside of Castle Oblivion, and even then he didn't pay much attention to it. Back in the Truth Hurts, they DID use... uhmm... no, hang on, that's not what I wanted to say... They did see his memories and guess that maybe trying to use Namine to control Repliku was a bad idea, but Marluxia was too arrogant to listen. (there, that's what I meant...)

I don't think Repliku still has planted memories of Riku. I remember reading somewhere a theory that when Namine shattered him, she shattered all his false memories, but his heart was so unstable that everything else just went with. So, those memories are probably the most vague for him, IF he even still has them. And even if he does, no one's going to THINK to look through them to see what was going on in FtP. Riku (my Riku) didn't have such close ties to the Rebellion then. And the Rebellion had other things to deal with. I'm sure maybe... 19 would have maybe warned him if he had actually SEEN, but 19 isn't terribly good with computers, remember? I doubt anyone else would've cared.

Yes, I do realize that his memories would've been a good spot to find information, but that didn't occur to me that they were even still ON the Database until just recently. The best excuse I can come up with is someone looked through them, found absolutely nothing interesting (to them, at least) in them and no one bothered to double check.

or... his memories are just too unstable, not just to use but to view (as, actually, you will see in the next chapter...)

Plus, memories are not accurate at all. They do not portray facts, but feelings. And Repliku's feelings, with no doubt, clouded up most of his memories. I doubt he paid much attention to what the Organization was doing. He cared more about Namine, and was probably focusing on her most of the time. And, I'm pretty positive, that information is almost useless. Well, okay, except the Organization can gather that she's his weakness, but I think they've already established that.

...

okay, I think I covered everything.

Feel free to ask more questions, though. This was actually fun to figure out. Thanks for making my brain work more than it's used to!!

KKBeckett asked a good question

and, I don't remember if I explained it

So, why did Sora fall into darkness? He was so bright as a kid... what changed?

the very very simple reason?

Riku showing up in this universe threw the universe out of balance. In a desperate need to fix the balance, the universe did practically everything.

Sora falling into darkness was one of those things

There is, however, a deeper level to this (what!? I'm going DEEP on you? NO WAY!!)

and to understand that, we have to go back to when Sora was a kid.

Sora LOVED fairytales. LOVED THEM. His mom would read him a book (or three) every night before he went to bed. His father would take him (and often Kairi, too) out to the smaller island every day so he could play. he'd be a pirate one day (taking Kairi as his captive) a knight the next (protecting "princess" Kairi)

he wanted more than anything to actually be part of that magical world

he wanted to actually fight monsters, be a hero

see where I'm going?

Then Riku showed up.

Riku showed up, and he could fight. He could kill heartless, or "monsters" without breaking a sweat. He used "magic". Of course, it wasn't REALLY magic, but to Sora's unknowing eyes, a Dark Aura looks like a pretty epic magic attack (and, I suppose, basically is. just depends on what you ACTUALLY consider to be magic)

Sora.... Sora hated him for it.

"The magic, the monsters, all of that- it's REAL. And I'm not a part of it."

He saw that it was real.

He wanted to be a part of it to.

He'd stop at nothing to BECOME a part of it.

When you grow up on fairytales and magic, you don't just sit there and let someone who's as good as one of those heroes go. you see them, and you think "what? It's REAL? Why aren't I a part of it?"

Rough draft of Riku freaking out (ch105 or so)

said I'd post it

the thing is, this focuses more on what everyone else is doing, which is funny, because Riku tunes them all out in the chapter itself.

anyway

Does Namine still have meltdowns?

“Yes.”

Do they hurt?

“Of course they hurt her.”

No, no, do they hurt you?

“What?”

It seems like they hurt you. You just can’t stand to watch her, knowing that there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop them, knowing that youmight be causing-

Riku’s eyes widened in anger. He rounded on Sora, looking positively furious.

“Aerith!” Yuffie shouted.

(Sora continues)

            (Riku gets even more upset)

            “Riku! Don’t listen to him!” Aerith called. “He doesn’t know what he’s saying! He doesn’t mean any of it-”

            (Sora says something particularly nasty)

            (Riku draws his blade)

            “Quick! Someone grab him!” Yuffie shouted. “Sora!! Snap out of it! Aerith? Can I slap him!?”

            Leon came up and grabbed Riku from behind, restraining him. Riku fought hard, though, trying to break free.

            “Take that back! Take that back, do you hear me!?” he was shouting.

            “But it’s true,” Sora continued, not even fazed. He almost sounded as if he were enjoying this. “And you know I’m right-”

            “Sora’s Shadow ain’t around, is he?” Cid asked.

            Aerith shook her head, though she didn’t seem too sure. “I can’t sense him,” she said. “And I can’t hear him, either. I would assume he’d be laughing at-”

            Riku broke free of Leon’s hold, and launched himself at Sora. Within moments he had Sora pinned to the ground, blade at his throat. Sora hardly reacted at all, he just kept talking, the amusement in his voice growing. Leon tried to pull Riku away, but he didn’t have much luck.

            “Sora!” Yuffie screamed, placing a rather kick in his side. “Riku’s going to kill you if you don’t snap out of it!”

            “I think that’s what his Shadow wants,” Leon grunted, as he tried to hold Riku back. It didn’t take Riku much effort to break free of his grasp again.

            “She shattered you!” Sora laughed. “And you’re protecting her? Even though she took your heart, shaped it to her liking and then broke it the minute you stepped out of line? How can you still have feelings for that bi-”

            “Shut your damn mouth!” Cid shouted.

            “Cid!” Aerith gasped.

            “Like what he was gonna say was any better!”

            The room suddenly went silent. A look of sheer terror crossed Sora’s face.

            “What did I say?” he gasped, frantically. “What did I say!?”

            Riku was in tears now. Leon was having absolutely no trouble holding him back.

            “Riku- I- I’m so sorry!” Sora stammered, scrambling to his feet. “I swear I didn’t mean it!!” He turned to Yuffie. “What did I say?”

            She just slowly shook her head.

            “I hate this!!” Riku screamed suddenly, his voice choked in his tears. “I hate feeling like this!!” He threw his blade to the ground. Leon slowly let go of him, and he collapsed to his knees, sobbing. Aerith calmly grabbed him by the shoulders.

            “I’m not crying!” he said, shakily. “I’m not weak! I- I’m not-”

            “Riku, it’s alright,” Aerith said, calmly. “It’s alright.”

Anniversary video post

Finally finished the anniversary video!

whoo!!

Erm...

That's pretty much-- oh wait. Here's the point where I post something sappy about how long I've been working on this.

2 years is kind of big for me. I have never put THAT much time into ANYTHING. Trust me, I haven't. I mean, there was all this random plotting I did for "stories" I wanted to write in 5th and 6th grade, but those-- eh, I never actually WROTE more than like, five pages of any of those.

2 years.

4 stories.

Over 400 pages for Dead Inside.

THIS IS HUGE!

I have never gotten this far in ANYTHING. NEVER.

Just saying.

That was it. There was some rant about "I am perfectly capable of walking away from this story if I wanted, but I COULDN'T because I've fallen in love with all my characters and it would kill me to leave them where they are." That was it though.

...

Erm, the "charries answer questions" thing will be done soon. I was putting it off so I could finish the video, and since I spent all of my morning finishing the video instead of doing school (benefit #3 of doing school online) I have school to catch up on. Well, not really, I finished everything that was assigned today, but I was going to try and work ahead so that I had Friday relatively free. don't listen to this you all know it's already up

But the video's finished, and so the next time I have free time (so, tomorrow) I'll be working on the scene.

...

Oh, random, but I own KH3D now. Just... not a 3DS to play it on (plus, magik dibbed playing the game first...)

...

Also, if you were following me on my external hardrive issues, my old hardrive's fried. I lost all the data. However, I DID get a larger replacement harddrive and it cost me NOTHING. Whoo!!

...

(waiting for a page to load so I can continue with this post)

...

THERE we go!

So, forever ago, at the VERY BEGINNING of Dead Inside, I said that "It's Not my Time" by 3 Doors Down was the theme song for the fic.

Heheh...

Scrapped that idea shortly after I began to hate the song due to trying to edit an AMV for my fic to it (probably the trailer).

So, Dead Inside has been without a theme song for... a while...

Then, well, Safetysuit

And

"Life Left to Go" is now the fic's theme song.

Why?

Because "Life Left to Go" heavily emphasizes the Hurt/Comfort theme that's become overly present in the fic. This fic has gone to "SHORT ADVENTURE THAT FINISHES EVERYTHING UP" to "Really long drawn out story that centers around everyone looking out for each other and helping each other overcome their problems" (which, actually, I'm going to go start Dead Inside's page and talk about that when I'm done here)

(And yes, I AM aware that "Life Left to Go" is a song about suicide, so don't bother bringing that up)

Anyway

I'm going to talk about the video now

In depth

walk away if you wish

So, the first 18 seconds is kind of "Truth Hurts in a nutshell!" and is only there because I had no idea how to start the vid.

Actually

It was because I was planning on doing an overview of the fics, but- well- the song required I do otherwise (and I like the otherwise) 

The next 4 seconds briefly covers-- eh, I'll say "alludes" to Sora's fall into darkness (since it's only four seconds)

The next segment is RokuXi for no apparent reason

I think there was a point to the segment after that being Namiku

Probably because the next segment is Zerith

And then... the first line that means something!

"The mask you put on is like words in a song but there's more to be seen"

The meaning behind that should be obvious (especially think of what characters are paired with the line)

the next line

"And the failures you see don't seem failures to me"

This was actually the line that made me realize I was going to edit to this song. Why? Because I saw Roxas saying "don't seem failures to me" with the clip I used-

and it DOES fit Roxas and Xion (perhaps more in canon than in my universe, but... whatev)

The first part of this chorus, with Roxas and Xion, is Xion's death and Roxas begging her not to just give up

I considered trying to recreate Roxas's death, but that never happened

The BBS segment of this chorus... well... it was basically "idk what to put here, so... BBS!!" (which is what happened with a lot of BBS stuff, actually)

the next segment (1:55) with Kairi-- well, I had a lot of ideas for what to put here, but somehow Kairi got it. Not entirely sure why (probably because all the other ideas I had required clips that don't exist)

The next segment with Terra was just... random. It's what I thought of immediately while listening to the line, so I went with it

The next segment "Fear comes alive like you'll never be free" I actually had pegged to Sora in my original breakdown of the song (which, since this is a breakdown of the video, I'll post a breakdown of the song... later.) The reason why I used it in the vid? Because I had an idea for the "never be free" portion

"And there's no pain you feel that I know love can't heal"

This is spoilers. But there's a reason why I put which two characters on this line. I can't specifically state what, but there is

There is

Now, the first part of this chorus is BBS. Mainly because the Zerith clips I require don't exist. But, that line DOES fit with Ven being all like "hey, if I become a powerful keyblade, kill me!" and Terra and Aqua being like "WHATHTT!?!?"

(which that part of the game bothers me a freaking ton, because Terra and Aqua are arguing, practically yelling at each other, and then Ven shows up and they're both like "oh, it's okay Ven, nothing's wrong! Ignore the fact that we were yelling at each other two seconds ago, we'll be friends forever and nothing will seperate us! xD")

The last part of this chorus is CREATIVE ZERITH EDITING!! Whoo!! (and I don't think that needs to be explained...)

"There's nothing to run from!!"

I love that he practically yells that line.

Anyway, it's very obviously Sora and Kairi. It just is. I mean-- I actually think I pegged this to something else when I first did a breakdown of the song, now that I think of it. Oh well.

It's very obviously Sora and Kairi, especially with this whole Agrabah sequence (which I know I haven't finished posting yet, but once I do you'll REALLY understand why this line fits)

"There's nothing but fear inside you"

Well, I used Riku and his past for this. Not any particular reason why...

"Just hope I can find you"

I was really grasping for ideas here, so that's why what's in the video is in the video

Though, then there's that quick three clips of "memories" with Sora and Kairi that you're probably all like "huh?" about (though they go by fast) But... it's alluding to when they played hide and seek when they were kids. I know it doesn't seem like there's anything special about that, but there is. Okay? There is.

then *cough* ch123 *coughcoughcouch*

"And tell you that I know you'll smile again"

Could've actually been pegged to a lot of characters, but Sora and Kairi were the easiest to edit (plus, it fit with the previous line)

and that's it

...

That's really it

I'll probably post my original breakdown of the song soon. Ish.

Let’s talk some more about Shad, and then some about Roxas

So, Flightfoot brought up a good point/question, and I really should answer it. In case you missed it (and so I don't have to keep swapping between windows =P) I'll post it here.

"If Shad's entire reason to exist is to drag Sora into darkness, and the reason he can't NOT drag Sora down is because it's his reason to exist, then how will succeeding allow Shad to continue existing? Isn't fulfilling his purpose just as bad as abandoning it? Either way, he's not needed anymore."

See... this is a very good point, and (like a lot of your questions, Flightfoot) really makes me have to think (but that's a good thing). I don't necessarily have an answer for this, because now that you mention this, I realize that it doesn't entirely make sense to have it work any other way.

Hrm....

Idk. Y'see, in my head, it's like if he fufills his purpose, then he's free to do whatever he wants. Not sure why. It's... a reward for fulfilling his purpose?

I really don't know. 

Maybe he really does cease to exist the moment he drags Sora into darkness, but he doesn't know that, so he speaks as if there's a future for him.

I'll have to think on it some more. These things usually suddenly make sense to me at like 3 A.M. while I'm having trouble sleeping.

So, we'll move on to what Cookie said.

Cookie wondered why Shad doesn't try to fight his purpose. I don't have a particular answer for this...

He doesn't think it's possible? But that's a stupid reason....

The thought never even occurs to him, because he does enjoy his job? But that's not true... he might enjoy his job, but the thought of doing something different has occured to him...

It's just impossible for him?

Ugh, I realize that these are terrible answers, but I think there is an answer to this, I just can't mention it because it's plot-related. So, coming up with something that might be answer but I don't think is the right one is hard...

Let's talk about Roxas now.

Yes, it's possible to bring Roxas back. But it is going to be a pain in the butt to do so, and I don't think it's worth it. I know we all want him back, but there's really no need for him in the story. And it'd be bad writing for me to just bring him back for just that reason.

But that's not the only reason I'm not bringing him back.

I know I didn't make it entirely clear just how hard it would be to bring him back. Or maybe I did. I don't know. I just know that's hard.

See, Cookie asked if there were records of each Replica's memories and whatnot stored somewhere.

He's right. There are.

But they haven't been updated in months because of this whole debacle with the Rebellion.

If we bring Roxas back, he'd be - at best - missing a month. A month that would be extremely hard to fill for him.

Xion - don't get me started on how much she'd be missing. Her situation's even worse.

And if something were to happen to anyone else - anyone from the Rebellion - there'd be no hope for them, either. Roxas is only missing a month, but everyone else would be missing somewhere between 3 to 5 months. 

Besides Riku and Namine, of course, who are even worse positions because neither of them have records in this universe. Well, Namine just doesn't have records. Riku has records in the other universe, but they haven't been updated since, y'know, he was last there (like, 9 months ago, sometime shortly after he was created)

Back to Roxas.

Yes, I can bring him back, I will not deny that. But it won't be easy, and I don't think it's necessary.

I mean, maybe I'll change my mind. Maybe, by book 5, I will have brought him back (don't expect him back sooner; it's not possible to bring him back until this Rebellion thing has settled down)

But...

I don't know.

Terra battle fandub!!

I know there are posts that referred to this earlier and I said I'd go back and link them to this post but maybe I won't because I'm lazy

Another post?

REally?

I know, I know. I should be writing. I was planning on writing. Then I was listening to a song, and it reminded me of the AMV that was made to that song, so I had to go find the AMV, which was BBS related, and then I was like "I'm gonna go watch the KH2 Final Mix Secret ending" and then it was either after the first KH2FM secret ending, but it was probably the second one (which had better quality) that I stumbled upon a video that had the Lingering Sentiment/Terra battle from KH2FM

I watched it for the heck of it

then in the video responses, there was this

I expected it to be a fandub.

I figured "what the hey, let's watch it."

It wasn't a fandub.

It's a million times better.

and as soon as you watch it, you will understand WHY.

OKay?

Now, unless you REALLY WANT to watch Sora and Terra beat the crap of out of each other (which is... interesting. It's like watching someone fight a combination of Ansem from KH1 with some Xemnas battle elements and then quite a few attacks from the Terranort battle all with a noticeably Terra twist.) here are the parts you need to watch:

The beginning, which stops about when the battle starts

this part in the middle, about 8 minutes in. Surprised the crud out of me, this did. Sat there for a good three minutes afterward unable to do anything more than stare with my mouth open. Again, you can stop watching as soon as the fighting starts again

then the end, which starts at aproximately 18 minutes. Probably a few seconds after, but what's it gonna kill you to watch 10 seconds of battle?

Trust me, you will NOT regret watching this

HEYRANDOMPOST (has some review replies and some of my own artwork)

WHOO!!

for starters, this is completely random, but I had some high school award ceremony tonight, and I got awards for excellence in Spanish and Computers. No surprise. The good news is, the technology department gave us 8GB flashdrives.

You wanna know how much 8GB holds?

I put nearly every single one of my word documents and pictures on there, and I've barely taken up any room. It wasn't until I added the spare amount of music that I could that it started filling up 

and...

random...

but KKBeckett asked why 23 was being so cold all of a sudden (or kind of all of a sudden). It was a review on that one ASAS chapter.

Anyway, the reason 23's being so cold is because, partially, he never wanted to help Riku in the first place. He thought 19 was being weird for helping him, especially since he had just killed Master Vexen (it's funny how I refer to my Vexen as that, and then magik's Vexen is just Vexen). 19 was the one who had finally convinced him to help Riku out it, though he never really liked doing it.

then he figures out that 19 has been hiding stuff from him. And, from the sounds of things, 19 isn't usually the kind of person to keep secrets from anyone, especially not his brothers. So the fact that he has been offended 23.

So a good portion of his anger is against 19, but I think there are other complications, too.

I really should be going to bed, but I'm not tired, and dang insomnia won't let me sleep unless I'm exhausted.

so...

I got bored and drew that. I uploaded the version with the fixed/different lighting but the picture's the same 'cept now it's not whitewashed

anyway, I got bored. Those thorns were a pain. I really should stop drawing them, but... they're so- idk. I like them. I can draw them. They're a pain, but I can draw them.

You know what else was a pain? Adapting Len's hair to look like Sora. Now, if you've seen Len, you'll be very confused, because both he and Sora have really spiky hair, and all you usually have to do is adapt it minorly to look a bit more realistic and cut off the ponytail. However, though I still had to dothose things, there was another problem

Len had really long bangs in this one. And, as fine and dandy as that is for him, Sora has really short bangs. And so... changing that was a bit of a pain. I like how it finally turned out, though.

I have a lot to say about this picture.

see, if I had the original picture that I adapted this from, I'd show you. Well, one sec, lemme look through my history

anyway, if you see that, you'll understand a bit where I'm coming from.

See, I saw that picture and I imediately wanted to do something with Sora and Shad. Because, on the left of that picture, you have regular Len, on the right, idk who it's supposed to be, exactly, but I'm assuming it's Len, just a bit-

Idk, I felt like that second Len had just been created or something. And, because he was just created, he looked a bit wilder (his hair's not pulled back and is a mess)

so, this picture of Sora and Shad might be sometime shortly after Shad's creation, or something. Or it's just metaphorical of the two of them. Idk. But, Shad looks a bit more wilder because, y'know, he's Shad and I would actually imagine that his hair's a bit messier for some reason. Or, if it wasn't before, it is now, 'cause I like that idea.

This picture as a whole, though, is quite symbolic. See, the original picture, it had that weird flower thingy between the two of them, and that wasn't relevant at all, and I didn't want to just copy it. So, I did that weird thorn structure you see in my finished product.

It has a heart in the middle, which was originally Sora's, but I changed it when I started coloring it so that it was half Shad's, because, whether he likes it or not, he was spawned from Sora's heart. So, the darker half of the heart is, no duh, Shad's.

The thorns are a recurring theme in my Sora pictures. I mean, it was a major part of his Keyblade in FtP. They showed up again (not in a picture) on that Nightmare, aka, Big Ugly. The thorns have become representive of his struggle with the darkness.

So, the thorns are like... trying to drag him back down... or something. Idk, that's the explanation that kept running through my head.

The darkness around Shad is there because, well, he's darkness, and I didn't think the thorns would be around him. They aren't trying to drag him into darkness. So... you get those whisps of darkness instead (which could've looked SO much better)

on another note, forgot to mention, that flower at the top of the thorn structure- idk what it is- but it's, I guess, a representation of Sora's light. The thorns are, of course, trying to smother the flower.

Then, another note, Len in the original picture wasn't wearing clothes (which further emphasizes my creation/recently spawned interpretation). I mean, it's not like it's a major problem, since it was mainly focusing on their faces, but that's why Sora and Shad aren't wearing clothes and this sounds so awkward.

moving on.

I debated for a bit about whether or not I would draw Sora's necklace. But, y'know, I just recently officially established that Kairi gave him the necklace, so it represents either his light or his connection to her, and since this picture has a subtle "darkness trying to consume Sora" theme (is it subtle, or is it the main theme? It's getting late and I can't tell) it needed to be there. It kinda looks like the thorns are going after it, too (though that, honestly, was pure coincidence)

That's all I gotta say.

oh, except that I love Shad's smirk. I mean, I still don't think it's entirely a smirk, but- whatever. I like how it turned out. It looks enough like his evil grin that I am satisfied with it.

That's all

I should really go to bed now

My screwed up timeline

For starters, don't ask about what Namine zoned out about. I don't remember. I looked at that, and I sat there for about 15 minutes trying to figure out why she zoned out. No luck. Sorry.

ANYWAYS!

this is really important, so important, in fact, that I will post a link to this blog in my next couple blogs for those who are behind on reading my blog.

moving on!

my timeline is SOOOOOOOOOOOO screwed up. Wanna know why? By the time of the chapter I just posted, I have a feeling that Sora had just maybe arrived in Olympus Coliseum. MAYBE! he may not have even gotten there yet...

Why? Well, I didn't expect the raid to take so long nor did I expect Riku to have to return to Hollow Bastion. And if it wasn't screwed up in this small little way, we'd have a major problem.

Major problem, you ask?

Riku and Namine showing up in Hollow Bastion while Magik's characters are there.

Yeah, I know, it sounds like a wonderful idea. However, I plotted that scene out in my head, just for the heck of it, and Riku ended up having a panic attack.

litterally...

so, for the sake of Riku not having a panic attack and me having to deal with the carnage for the next plenty chapters, you guys just have to deal with a bit of time travel.

So... in case you didn't catch it... here's a rough idea of the timeline

Riku and Namine's first visit to Hollow Bastion ch 63-68

the ridiculously long raid ch 72-78

the second trip to Hollow Bastion ch 79-??

Olympus Coliseum ch 69-71 

are you confused?

I hope not

I also have a feeling that this second trip to hollow Bastion will last longer than Sora's trip to Olympus Coliseum and they will end up running about parallel

So, just to get things SUPER STRAIGHT!

we have Riku's first visit ot HB

the ridiculously long raid

second visit to HB starts

Sora in Olympus

second visit to HB ends

MAGIK'S CHARRIES SHOW UP IN HB!!

which is... well... whatever chapters in Can't Escape. I'm too lazy to look them up, sorry! =P

AND THEN I COPIED THE COMMENTS FROM THE ORIGINAL POST and I shall post their transcription (that the right word?) below

brrp we still call Shad "Shadow" lol this is so old

Forevermagik responded

It's chapters 39-42 in Can't Escape.

They run parallel to chapters 3 and 4 in Betwixt and Between, for those of you who are reading this entire epic adventure lol.

Flightfoot responded:

Well, that explains why Aerith didn't mention Magik's characters.

rar master responded:

yup. Besides, they're over for dinner. And, because I didn't explain how the timing doesn't clash... I'm going to say it here.

Riku and Namine left HB early morning. Just past dawn. Raid took... 2 hours, at most. It would still be early morning by the time they returned to HB.

KKBeckett responded:

Riku+panic attack=carnage. Why am I not surprised?

Oh, and after magik's charries show up, Shadow does.

That is wonderful.... and slightly screwed up.

I blame... Shadow.

(I'd blame Riku, but I might die. I would like to think that due to Shadow's weird plane of existence, he can't do anything to me.)

rar master responded:

LOL

heheh, now Shadow's thinking of possible ways of killing you...

=P

  

forever magik responded:

Now, now, Shadow... don't kill the reviewers!

You never know, some of them may secretly like you.

Sephy has LOADS of fangirls.

Flightfoot responded:

Personally, I like Shadow. If this was an actual published work, he'd probably be the most popular character.

rar master responded:

I bet he would be

he seems flattered...

forever magik responded:

Of course he's flattered! He has a HUGE ego!

And a dirty mouth.

And a habit of making crude gestures when people's backs are turned.

rar master responded:

why does he only do that in YOUR head?

forever magik responded:

Because I pay attention to stuff like that... idk...

He knows you don't approve and I don't have time to care?

Random Rant about Shad (chapter commentary on ch125. Sorta)

what? This is chapter commentary? I guess it is... sort of...

I have determined that I need a 3DS, not only because of KH3D, but because of Kid Icarus: Uprising.

Curious why I would possibly want that?

and

http://ask-darkpit.tumblr.com/post/21223870814/what-part-of-two-sides-of-the-same-coin-dont

and you should probably read through the rest of http://ask-darkpit.tumblr.com/ just because it's funny. (there are spoilers for Kid Icarus: Uprising, however. Don't say I didn't warn you)

Dark Pit now really reminds me of Shad, and I want to play Kid Icarus: Uprising for inspiration purposes, because I hear the relationship between him and regular Pit is... idk, something I can draw inspiration from (that ended up sounding really lame, but I have no idea how to put it, and I can't really rant about it without giving away spoilers (yes, I've spoiled myself, but I wanted to see just HOW MUCH Dark Pit was going to remind me of Shad, which is A LOT))

Basically, it's the light/dark "two sides of the same coin" relationship that I love, and to an extent that doesn't involve "IDIOT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!" (Like Ven/Van)

Anway, enough about Dark Pit

Let's talk about Shad!

art by the wonderful ssceles, which you can find on dA here

http://ssceles.deviantart.com/art/Darkness-Within-VanSo-175929219
(I realize that that just leads to this picture on dA, but you can find ssceles on dA through that)

I love this pic, because Sora's like "asdhfsdf, the darkness is eating me!!" and Shad's (that's technically Vanitas but shh) laughing "heheh, sucks for you, but this is great for me!" while he enjoys every second of it

I'm in an odd mood today, lo siento

But, with the hype about Dark Pit this morning, I've been in a mood to talk about Shad

And, y'know, it's fitting, given the villains question thing that I just posted

And, what the hey *goes to post the latest chapter to Dead Inside*

Sorry for spamming you with chapters, but talking about Shad would be hard if that chapter wasn't posted, just saying. 

*glances through notes*

Right, didn't think I had anything to say about this chapter

So, I'm really loving this character development I'm getting from Shad. As Organization Number 15 (don't know why I put archsage, sorry about that!) mentioned, it really adds depth to him, and good villains/antagonists need depth (something I've always had trouble with - I mean, I've had trouble with character depth with a while, but antagonist depth is especially hard for me.)

And then that huge rant he gave me in response to Cookie's equally large question-- I mean, it was awesome. Character development galore! (And my head-canon now states that the Shadow Courts have a larger role in my head than they used to - Shad's even yelled at the Knight, ah, former Knight a bit!(this is all reference to... a scrap idea from my novel, and Shad's bout of character development helped me develop it more, too. BONUS! But sorry if I'm confusing you))

See, this is the part of Shad that I really like, and I absolutely love this last chapter. Because it expands on something new: that Shad is nothing without Sora - something that I do need to develop if the thing with Maleficent is going to work properly.

That's why Shad denied a life where he had a chance with Kairi (in the question thing). Because a life where he had a chance with Kairi is a life where Sora doesn't exist, and a life he cannot live. As much as he hates to admit it, he needs Sora.

I know what you're wondering

"But, rar, doesn't that contradict the only thing he wants out of life is to drag Sora into darkness? If he needs Sora, then he can't drag Sora into darkness, because when he does that, Sora's gone!"

Well, I'm still developing that thought properly, and these might be two issues that end up sovling each other -- I'm just not quite sure as of yet, and I can't tell you because it's spoilers.

I mean, you can write the "needing Sora" vibe you get from the last chapter off as "I need to know where Sora is so that I can fulfill my purpose!" if it makes you feel better, but, I'll admit there is more to it than that. I just can't tell you what.

Which means I'm telling you more than I should, and confusing you.

Ah well.

I'm going to shut up now before I confuse you more, but first:

(you'll probably have to go to youtube to see the subs... sorry)

This song has always reminded me of Vanitas - with the "how can you smile like that?"

"Smile, cry, get angry, that's what you do. Expressionless, smileless, that's me..."

"Another me extremely annoys me."

Of course, not all of it fits Van. The song heavily focuses on that "light/dark, I'm nothing without you, even though I think I don't need you" vibe that I've come to love, which... doesn't entirely fit Van.

Entirely.

Idk.

It follows the theme of this post.

I'm going to go do school now

advantage #4 to online school! (starting whenver the crap you feel like it) this excitingness is outweighed by the fact it takes TEN HOURS to do school everyday. traditional homeschooling is better

Oh Alpha... (contains review replies and some ranting)

this is sort of referencing... uh... that one chapter at the end of the ridiculously long raid. "Things better left untouched" is I believe the chapter title

and this is also review replies *shrug* I didn't label them as that for some reason (they weren't in the doc with the other review replies)

I swear he insisted on absolutely everything he did in that chapter.

weirdo...

anyway!

review reply time~~~

right, starting with Dead Inside....

actually, starting with the Organization.

let's see... who's alive?

Xemnas

Xigbar

Xaldin

Lexaeus... is... I think he's alive. He sorta just walked out of my brain, and I have yet to find him. Maybe he went traitor and was killed... maybe he's still alive and will be showing up later. I have no idea!

Saix (what? he's alive!?! *obvious sarcasm, I hope*)

Axel

Demyx

Luxord

how many Replicas were made of each member? Hahah, it's funny, Magik has the list of all this. =P

anyway you should go to my new blog and look at the Replicas page for better/uptodate info

there are 43 Vexen Replicas total. Wait, sorry, 44. My bad.

how many Vexen Replicas are currently functioning? Not a clue. Lemme go through all the ones I've specifically mentioned though...

2 - Rebellion

4 - Disabled

5 - was rewritten, is on Saix's side

6 - we all know who 6 is

7 - Rebellion, is in charge of the Repair Program

14 - traitor. I'm not sure if he was killed or not

17 - killed by Axel

19 - you should all know where 19 is...

20 - failed shortly after creation

21 - is either on Saix's side or dead

22 - dead

23 - Rebellion

29 - with Joseph

33 - he's either rogue or dead

34 - Saix's side

37 - I would hope he's still alive...

Those are all I remember off the top of my head.

there are 24 Larxene Replicas total. Quite a few of them have been killed by now. Let's see... who's dead? C, G, N, specifically (heheh, those three letters form GCN, or Game Cube Nintendo. ... sorry...) Those are the only specifically dead ones I can remember mentioning. I know more have died, but I don't know them specifically. L is still alive (sadly). Besides that, I think S, H, and Q have been mentioned (in the chapter Magik just posted to Can't Escape, yeah?)

There are... 12 Marluxia Replicas total, I think. I've mentioned specificially: Thistle, Tulip, Amaryllis, Bloodroot, and... was there one named Snapdragon? I can't remember.

Zexion Replicas... I have no idea how many there are total. I only have to deal with Alpha. I remember mentioning Delta, but that's it. 

there are... 6 Lexaeus Replicas, I think. I also think one is dead and one is with the Rebellion. I can't name them specifically because I've never come up with a way of labeling them. *shrug*

There is also Xigbar's clone.

that's... all...

moving on!

~

I really like this question that Cookie asked me: "If everything works out at the end, would it be possible for him to settle down and live a regular life without being paranoid because he's not in battle all the time?" (or something to that effect. I paraphrased.)

The answer?

Fish freaking NO!

He might be able to survive a month or so before he became restless. Maybe.

here's a funny little story kinda on the subject... I have this random scene in the back of my head (I have a lot of random scenes in the back of my head) where Riku and some kid from school get into a fight. Why? Well, it was probably the kid's fault. Whatever the heck happened, they fight, and said kid gets severely injured probably because Riku lost his temper.

eh... I'm suddenly failing to see how that relates.

ah well.

ONTOASASREPLIES!!

When would that chapter have taken place if it was canon? (I'm referring to the scene where Riku and Shad fight actually Idk how I remember this)

eh, no where. It was never intended to be canon, actually. I suppose I might have confused you.... sorry... I was only making the point to say it wasn't canon because of certain things Shad said completely contradicted some stuff.

no idea where it would go, though, sorry.

as a note to how powerful Shad was in that battle, I'm pretty sure he's still that powerful now. I think he goes easy on Sora because he doesn't want to kill him because that wouldn't be any fun.

But if he seriously wanted to, I'm sure Shad could kick some serious @ss

Nope, Riku doesn't know about Shad in canon. He might learn about Shad in canon soon. I know he will eventually for sure. I'm just not sure if "eventually" comes in the next few chapters or by the end of Dead Inside.

No, Sora is not still in Olympus. I know where he'll be next, but I don't know if he did anything in between these two things (well, he probably did, I just don't know what he did)

I promise Sora will be showing up REALLY soon. I swear! There was just a HUGE snowball of events that I had to cover in Riku's side of the story, and I'm sure what's coming up for Sora is going to be just as big of a snowball. Trust me.

now... onto a ton of questions from KKBeckett (mainly because the email ended up in a seperate stack, and because you ask a lot of questions that no one else does *shrug*)

Nope, Shad did not destroy Sora's Keyblade. Sora's Keyblade just has a nasty habit of cracking when put into too close of contact with any darkness, and since Shad was holding it (making it a bit more... personal form of contact?) it was cracking very rapidly. It's not destroyed, but it probably isn't in very good shape... good thing this doesn't matter.

Yes! Bad Shad! no lightning! =D

I'm sorry that he reminded you of Ghirihim. I can see how. However, if Shad were to ever come into contact with Ghirihim, well...

Shad: who are you?
Ghirihim: The Demon Lord, Ghirihim!
Shad: okay...

(concerning some point with Ghirihim taunting Link)
Shad: oh my gawsh! You're evil!
Ghrihim: I know right? Evil suits me so well!
Shad: right... now you're freaking me out

(concerning said scene that I THINK you were referring to)
Shad: 0.o dude! What the flip is your problem!?
Ghirihim: You like it?
Shad: No! Ew! You're a creeep!

Which, funny fact, during the second battle with him, after he lands a nice hit on you(Link) he'll like... lick the "blood" off his blade. It is sooo creepy! *shudder* 

(last one here, but concerning the thing at the VERY end with his weird ritual thing)
Shad: *bursts out laughing* Ohwowduude!! You look ridiculous!

Ghirihim: Shut up! I'm trying to concentrate! Minions! After him!
Shad: Hmm... I wonder if I'm on the same plane of existence as them... (gets attacked by a Zombie Bokoblin) oh! okay! Yeah! Get the hell off of me!
Ghirihim: (evil laughter)

Shad: oh shut up! You still look ridiculous!
Ghirihim: (is offended but doesn't say anything because he's busy)

sorry...

I had to...

yeah, it mainly is just an old document. It was like... the first or second thing I ever wrote with him.

"I hate you..."
"Good!"

Yeah, he is cruel and sickening...

I love how you say Larxene is worse, though. Maybe it's because she's a girl, and girl villians tend to be just absolutely cruel. Or... eh... idk...

...

that was fun

I should go make dinner now. My little sister's complaining.