It just...HIT me all of a sudden

Song - Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin

~~

I... seriously don't know where this came from. I was listening to the song while writing, and it really just hit me. HARD.

This song fits Shad

and...

how he feels about loving Kairi.

Because he loves her. He'll just never admit it because it shouldn't technically be possible and he's confused and angry about it

which is... what this song portrays

his frustration towards the fact that he loves her.

and... I know you haven't actually seen it in story yet. Not all of it anyway, and, hey, count yourselves lucky! I'm sort of telling you something before it shows up in-story! But, I didn't want to lose this rant... and I hate saving things til later, because then I never quite feel the same way towards them and it always comes out like crap.

so...

yeah.

This song just... really fits him. It's got that anger and yet that cockiness underneath it, which Breaking Benjamin is really good at... (I think. I've only really listen to two of their songs, but both of them are like that... soo...)

anyway

---

"If I had to, I would put myself right besides you, so let me ask: 'would you like that?'"
~let's see... this is how Shad sorta feels towards Kairi... the "I really do want to be with you, even there's no possible way it's going to actually happen, but maybe I'll try to force it anyway" (which, if you remember that AMV I posted awhile back "A Poisonous Infatuation", seems to fit Vanitas in that AMV...)

"Something's getting in the way"
~*cough* the fact he shouldn't be able to feel love *cough cough*

"Something's just about to break"
~eh... I can't think of anything to say about this line that isn't entirely spoiler-y.

"I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane"
~metaphor here! this would basically be "I will try and find my place in Kairi's life"

"So tell me how it should be"
~I feel like he'd be yelling at someone here. Sora, maybe? Kairi (if he had the guts to yell at her). This would be... frustration about not quite understanding quite understanding how it's possible for him to love her. Or, him demanding to know how things are supposed to work out. Sheesh, you put him yelling this line and a million different possiblities about what he's yelling about surface

"Try to find out what makes you tick"
~Do I need to explain this line? It is such a Shad line...

"As I lie down, sore and sick"
~erm, I don't have anything specific for this one. And the only thing I can think of is spoilery and only barely applies

"There's a fine line between love and hate"
~that fine line he's walking between loving Kairi and absolutely hating the fact that he does

"And I don't mind"
~well, this would imply that he doesn't mind that line. Maybe it's because he enjoys the frustration in some weird twisted way that only Shad (okay, maybe Vanitas, too) could pull.
or, fish, maybe it just doesn't fit

already explained the chorus...

"As I burn another page"
~Hmm... I think of a page of Namine's sketchbook on this line. It's probably because of the AMV I typically watch...
However, you could take this line as him trying to hide his identity, because if Kairi finds out who he really is he's completley screwed

"As I look the other way"
~umm... I feel guilt with this line. Not sure about what.

"Desperate I will crawl"
~He's desperate. Desperate about... eh... a lot of things? This is like the "So tell me how it should be" line. You can put so many different spins on it...

"Waiting for so long; there's no love"
~These two lines go together. He's... waiting for things to work out? His feeling for Kairi to go away? Trying to get himself to snap out of it?

good gravy, Shad! You're confusing me!

"Die for anyone; what have I become!?"
~He's shouting again. And I know exactly what about. I can't say what because it's spoilers.

and...

that's it...