It turns out… (commentary on ch115)

It doesn't look like I'll be hitting the end of Dead Inside by August 9th. Unless I sit and do nothing but write for the next month, it just won't happen (and even if I DO sit and do nothing but write, it's questionable)

And my attention span just isn't well accustomed to doing nothing but sitting and writing.

Besides, I need to finish the Meltdown Project before I finish Dead Inside, because after Dead Inside it's not as relevant...

I also have that trailer that I promised Cookie I'd make...

Along with Epic Mickey to finish

Oh, and there's that Merlin marathon I have planned at a friend's house

At any rate...

I'm a bit sad that Dead Inside won't be finished by August 9th. 'Cause for the anniversary, I was planning on taking you guys through step by step the creation and planning and writing of each story. But if I haven't finished Dead Inside, I don't think I'll be able to do that. I mean, I can do the first three books, and then do a Dead Inside edition shortly after it's finished.

However, not being finished with Dead Inside ALSO means that I can't really post teasers for book 5, which I was also planning on doing. Again, that can easily go later, but it not going on the anniversary kind of bothers me...

Oh well.

I'll find another "holiday" to celebrate, lol xD

Moving on to the chapter

Oh, THIS chapter!

Okay, starting off, the chapter title. I was glancing through my list of chapter titles (yeah, I have a list of ones I want to use) and I had written down "Holding My Thoughts in My Heart". I can only assume what I had originally intended to use it for, and even then, it was probably one of those really iffy things. I was skimming over the list, and that caught my eye, because I thought it read "Hiding My Thoughts in My Heart" (that's either because I was skimming, or I just REALLY need glasses) and when I read "Holding" I was like "aww, that makes so much more sense if it was 'Hiding'" So I changed it.

yeah.

The sentence "they were holding hands" is emphasized the way it is merely to point out how unexplanative it is.

Do I have any idea what Namine and Riku are talking about for the majority of this chapter? No, no I don't. I doubt it'll bite me in the butt later, because I've already established that Riku will NOT remember most of this HB visit due to the whole "nearly dying" thing.

Random trivia:
Why, exactly, is that chair Zack's chair?
Because he got bored one day and carved his and Aerith's initials into the back of it and Aerith made him sit in it ever since. Now that he's gone, well...

 Magik was realy proud of Aerith when she sat in his chair. I guess I am to, but I honestly think it's her need to be hospitable overwriting any qualms that she has about it.

Besides, it's not like she's going to let anyone ELSE sit in it.

In case anyone was wondering: "Hollow Bastion (Radiant Garden) was plunged into darkness! How exactly is all this crud in Aerith's house still intact?"

I have no idea why it's still intact, but I do have this roughly scripted scene that invovles them returning to HB, and while they're seeing what damage has been done Aerith pauses in front of her house, glancing at it in shock, and remarks: "My house hasn't changed a bit." And, after exploring some: "Not. One. Bit."

Besides, Destiny Island was plunged into darkness, wasn't it? And yet all of its residents and houses and crud all just magically come back, as if absolutely nothing happened. I mean, I guess it could be because Destiny Islands was a brighter world, and it wasn't in darkness for nearly as long, but, still. Anyone ever wonder what that's all about? What did those people do while Sora (in, y'know, canon and not my universe) was trying to fix things? Hmm?

Plot hole, I think! actually I think Flightfoot corrected me on this but i'm just leaving the rant here

Okay, there's this completely random reminder in my notes:
"If you feel like it, mention the '19 and 23 math answer' (what was that?) and that most of your Vexen Replicas are prime numbers."

OKay then. I don't remember an answer on any math thing specificially being 19 and 23, but I guess it is still weird that most my Vexen Replicas are prime numbers

I mean, there's 2, 5, 7, 17, 19, 23, 29, 37-

That leaves out only 4, 6 (I can't believe I forgot him!), 14, 20 21 and 22 (not that they were major characters. I think we've only seen 22, and that was to point out that he died), and... 33. There might've been a 32 somewhere. Still, all the important ones (2, 7, 19, 23, 29, and 37) are prime. Isn't that weird?

I've decided that each world has a different time zone. I have no idea why this is relevant here, but I guess it has something to do with the fact that it was early afternoon on Destiny islands when Namine and Kairi and Joseph and Toby left, and now they're eating dinner at HB a mere hour later. And I'm pretty sure that I had to make it be a relatively later dinner. Though maybe it would fix my problem if it was an earlier dinner.... Not that it would be much earlier than 4, and that's still a pretty decent time difference between HB and Destiny Islands.

Anyway, the time differences in Worlds not only makes sense, but totally helps with my life.

Magik and I have established that the FF gng just needs to be able to communicate telepathically, because it would make our lives SOO much easier.

I was going to have Riku ask what they were talking about, instead of Joseph, but then I remembered that Riku technically heard the entire conversation. That, and there's a high chance he isn't entirely coherent right now. I mean, I know it seems like he seems pretty coherent, but- idk, I guess that's just poor writing on my part.

Oh, excuses, but I suppose that he isn't as coherent as we would think, but since everyone is just tuning him and Namine out...

That, or, he could be running on adrenaline at the moment.

I don't know.

Okay, apparently I had planned for Yuffie to get up to go to the bathroom. I have no clue when that got scrapped.

note I wrote while writing this:
"I wonder if Riku just... subconsciously analyzes what's going on around him. So that, while he's focusing on one thing, his subconscious picks up things that are going on around him just as well as if he were focusing on them. Unless, of course, this was altered by things such as him being blinded by rage, high on darkness, or so focused on one particular thing (such as not crying) that it cancels the subconscious analyzation out."

Hey look! The number of words in this chapter (in a word doc. I know fanfic counts words differently) is the year I was born!!

Riku, you are so thinking like a computer here! I mean, I made a note that how I thought he might be thinking like was much like a computer (did that make sense?) but now that I'm reading him TALK to Kairi, it's like-

wow

"I don't have enough information to pull into some comprehensive explanation"

Though, technically, he does know more about it than he's letting on. Why's he not telling Kairi? Well, he didn't hear much more than she did, and what little more he did hear he knows will only confuse her, so he scraps it as not being useful information (see, he's thinking like a computer). He doesn't mention Sora's Shadow mainly because he doesn't want to think about it himself.

 Did I mention how, i don't know, weird/different it is to write Riku around Namine (which is a completely different dynamic than Namiku, might I add) from neither of their POVs?

I feel really bad for Riku. It's like he can't handle mentioning this to Namine. Not that I'm surprised or anything. How is he SUPPOSED to tell one Namine that he's worried/been hurt by ANOTHER Namine? That's just awkward.

And, actually, I sort of understand all the feelings that are going through his head. His feelings for magik's Namine are just- so- "what on earth...?" I'm going to have a fun time unraveling this ball of emotional mess.

OHMYGOSH!!

I never posted that rant of Shad's that I was supposed to post!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!? That whole rant of his that explained how his powers worked, and he was ranting at magik's Namiku, and he coined that term and everything- oh what is wrong with me!!??

OKay, later. I'll worry about that later. That is SOO low priority. Though, if you're curious, LET ME KNOW! AND I MEAN IT!!

Moving on.

little note I wrote:

"Riku, you REALLY need to stop bringing the focus back to you like that. I mean, I know you're the protagonist and all, but-"

Last little bit here.

OH YEAH! I ALSO NEED TO-

sorry

Last little bit, I'm just going to say it.

The "he has to break eventually" line is taken from the Dead Inside trailer. I mean, it's put in a completely different context and said by a completely different person, but it's still there. Even the "just how hard will he break?" Though, technically, it's now: "when he breaks, it won't be pretty". And, also, the "break" refers to two completely different things now. 

At any rate, I'm really glad I could squeeze the line in, because it was a pretty good line, and the context in which it originally took place (in the trailer) just ISN'T going to happen.

Enough of my rambling.

I need to go write, especially if I even plan to get to that certain HB visit before August 9th.