HEYRANDOMPOST (has some review replies and some of my own artwork)

WHOO!!

for starters, this is completely random, but I had some high school award ceremony tonight, and I got awards for excellence in Spanish and Computers. No surprise. The good news is, the technology department gave us 8GB flashdrives.

You wanna know how much 8GB holds?

I put nearly every single one of my word documents and pictures on there, and I've barely taken up any room. It wasn't until I added the spare amount of music that I could that it started filling up 

and...

random...

but KKBeckett asked why 23 was being so cold all of a sudden (or kind of all of a sudden). It was a review on that one ASAS chapter.

Anyway, the reason 23's being so cold is because, partially, he never wanted to help Riku in the first place. He thought 19 was being weird for helping him, especially since he had just killed Master Vexen (it's funny how I refer to my Vexen as that, and then magik's Vexen is just Vexen). 19 was the one who had finally convinced him to help Riku out it, though he never really liked doing it.

then he figures out that 19 has been hiding stuff from him. And, from the sounds of things, 19 isn't usually the kind of person to keep secrets from anyone, especially not his brothers. So the fact that he has been offended 23.

So a good portion of his anger is against 19, but I think there are other complications, too.

I really should be going to bed, but I'm not tired, and dang insomnia won't let me sleep unless I'm exhausted.

so...

I got bored and drew that. I uploaded the version with the fixed/different lighting but the picture's the same 'cept now it's not whitewashed

anyway, I got bored. Those thorns were a pain. I really should stop drawing them, but... they're so- idk. I like them. I can draw them. They're a pain, but I can draw them.

You know what else was a pain? Adapting Len's hair to look like Sora. Now, if you've seen Len, you'll be very confused, because both he and Sora have really spiky hair, and all you usually have to do is adapt it minorly to look a bit more realistic and cut off the ponytail. However, though I still had to dothose things, there was another problem

Len had really long bangs in this one. And, as fine and dandy as that is for him, Sora has really short bangs. And so... changing that was a bit of a pain. I like how it finally turned out, though.

I have a lot to say about this picture.

see, if I had the original picture that I adapted this from, I'd show you. Well, one sec, lemme look through my history

anyway, if you see that, you'll understand a bit where I'm coming from.

See, I saw that picture and I imediately wanted to do something with Sora and Shad. Because, on the left of that picture, you have regular Len, on the right, idk who it's supposed to be, exactly, but I'm assuming it's Len, just a bit-

Idk, I felt like that second Len had just been created or something. And, because he was just created, he looked a bit wilder (his hair's not pulled back and is a mess)

so, this picture of Sora and Shad might be sometime shortly after Shad's creation, or something. Or it's just metaphorical of the two of them. Idk. But, Shad looks a bit more wilder because, y'know, he's Shad and I would actually imagine that his hair's a bit messier for some reason. Or, if it wasn't before, it is now, 'cause I like that idea.

This picture as a whole, though, is quite symbolic. See, the original picture, it had that weird flower thingy between the two of them, and that wasn't relevant at all, and I didn't want to just copy it. So, I did that weird thorn structure you see in my finished product.

It has a heart in the middle, which was originally Sora's, but I changed it when I started coloring it so that it was half Shad's, because, whether he likes it or not, he was spawned from Sora's heart. So, the darker half of the heart is, no duh, Shad's.

The thorns are a recurring theme in my Sora pictures. I mean, it was a major part of his Keyblade in FtP. They showed up again (not in a picture) on that Nightmare, aka, Big Ugly. The thorns have become representive of his struggle with the darkness.

So, the thorns are like... trying to drag him back down... or something. Idk, that's the explanation that kept running through my head.

The darkness around Shad is there because, well, he's darkness, and I didn't think the thorns would be around him. They aren't trying to drag him into darkness. So... you get those whisps of darkness instead (which could've looked SO much better)

on another note, forgot to mention, that flower at the top of the thorn structure- idk what it is- but it's, I guess, a representation of Sora's light. The thorns are, of course, trying to smother the flower.

Then, another note, Len in the original picture wasn't wearing clothes (which further emphasizes my creation/recently spawned interpretation). I mean, it's not like it's a major problem, since it was mainly focusing on their faces, but that's why Sora and Shad aren't wearing clothes and this sounds so awkward.

moving on.

I debated for a bit about whether or not I would draw Sora's necklace. But, y'know, I just recently officially established that Kairi gave him the necklace, so it represents either his light or his connection to her, and since this picture has a subtle "darkness trying to consume Sora" theme (is it subtle, or is it the main theme? It's getting late and I can't tell) it needed to be there. It kinda looks like the thorns are going after it, too (though that, honestly, was pure coincidence)

That's all I gotta say.

oh, except that I love Shad's smirk. I mean, I still don't think it's entirely a smirk, but- whatever. I like how it turned out. It looks enough like his evil grin that I am satisfied with it.

That's all

I should really go to bed now

Random Rant about Shad (chapter commentary on ch125. Sorta)

what? This is chapter commentary? I guess it is... sort of...

I have determined that I need a 3DS, not only because of KH3D, but because of Kid Icarus: Uprising.

Curious why I would possibly want that?

and

http://ask-darkpit.tumblr.com/post/21223870814/what-part-of-two-sides-of-the-same-coin-dont

and you should probably read through the rest of http://ask-darkpit.tumblr.com/ just because it's funny. (there are spoilers for Kid Icarus: Uprising, however. Don't say I didn't warn you)

Dark Pit now really reminds me of Shad, and I want to play Kid Icarus: Uprising for inspiration purposes, because I hear the relationship between him and regular Pit is... idk, something I can draw inspiration from (that ended up sounding really lame, but I have no idea how to put it, and I can't really rant about it without giving away spoilers (yes, I've spoiled myself, but I wanted to see just HOW MUCH Dark Pit was going to remind me of Shad, which is A LOT))

Basically, it's the light/dark "two sides of the same coin" relationship that I love, and to an extent that doesn't involve "IDIOT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!" (Like Ven/Van)

Anway, enough about Dark Pit

Let's talk about Shad!

art by the wonderful ssceles, which you can find on dA here

http://ssceles.deviantart.com/art/Darkness-Within-VanSo-175929219
(I realize that that just leads to this picture on dA, but you can find ssceles on dA through that)

I love this pic, because Sora's like "asdhfsdf, the darkness is eating me!!" and Shad's (that's technically Vanitas but shh) laughing "heheh, sucks for you, but this is great for me!" while he enjoys every second of it

I'm in an odd mood today, lo siento

But, with the hype about Dark Pit this morning, I've been in a mood to talk about Shad

And, y'know, it's fitting, given the villains question thing that I just posted

And, what the hey *goes to post the latest chapter to Dead Inside*

Sorry for spamming you with chapters, but talking about Shad would be hard if that chapter wasn't posted, just saying. 

*glances through notes*

Right, didn't think I had anything to say about this chapter

So, I'm really loving this character development I'm getting from Shad. As Organization Number 15 (don't know why I put archsage, sorry about that!) mentioned, it really adds depth to him, and good villains/antagonists need depth (something I've always had trouble with - I mean, I've had trouble with character depth with a while, but antagonist depth is especially hard for me.)

And then that huge rant he gave me in response to Cookie's equally large question-- I mean, it was awesome. Character development galore! (And my head-canon now states that the Shadow Courts have a larger role in my head than they used to - Shad's even yelled at the Knight, ah, former Knight a bit!(this is all reference to... a scrap idea from my novel, and Shad's bout of character development helped me develop it more, too. BONUS! But sorry if I'm confusing you))

See, this is the part of Shad that I really like, and I absolutely love this last chapter. Because it expands on something new: that Shad is nothing without Sora - something that I do need to develop if the thing with Maleficent is going to work properly.

That's why Shad denied a life where he had a chance with Kairi (in the question thing). Because a life where he had a chance with Kairi is a life where Sora doesn't exist, and a life he cannot live. As much as he hates to admit it, he needs Sora.

I know what you're wondering

"But, rar, doesn't that contradict the only thing he wants out of life is to drag Sora into darkness? If he needs Sora, then he can't drag Sora into darkness, because when he does that, Sora's gone!"

Well, I'm still developing that thought properly, and these might be two issues that end up sovling each other -- I'm just not quite sure as of yet, and I can't tell you because it's spoilers.

I mean, you can write the "needing Sora" vibe you get from the last chapter off as "I need to know where Sora is so that I can fulfill my purpose!" if it makes you feel better, but, I'll admit there is more to it than that. I just can't tell you what.

Which means I'm telling you more than I should, and confusing you.

Ah well.

I'm going to shut up now before I confuse you more, but first:

(you'll probably have to go to youtube to see the subs... sorry)

This song has always reminded me of Vanitas - with the "how can you smile like that?"

"Smile, cry, get angry, that's what you do. Expressionless, smileless, that's me..."

"Another me extremely annoys me."

Of course, not all of it fits Van. The song heavily focuses on that "light/dark, I'm nothing without you, even though I think I don't need you" vibe that I've come to love, which... doesn't entirely fit Van.

Entirely.

Idk.

It follows the theme of this post.

I'm going to go do school now

advantage #4 to online school! (starting whenver the crap you feel like it) this excitingness is outweighed by the fact it takes TEN HOURS to do school everyday. traditional homeschooling is better

Hide and Seek (commentary on ch123)

For starters

(art by kra on deviantart)

I have found a ton of "Sora struggling with his darkness" pictures, and yet I keep forgetting to post them. I know this isn't necesarily fitting for the chapter but most of the other pictures are of Vanitas and Sora, and even if I do tell you to pretend Vanitas is Shad, it doesn't work because Shad has nothing to do with this chapter

Sorry, no video this time around. The picture takes precedence, and this whole sequence is kind of special, so I don't want a random video thrown in with it

if you wish, I WAS going to post the AMV "Can you hear me?" by memoiri and you can go look it up (actually, you can just look up their channel, it's currently the featured vid) 

Why is this sequence so special?

Because, a) I can post my SoKai blog 

and (the more important) b) I really do love this whole "Kairi striving to find and save Sora" dynamic to my SoKai. Plus, this whole sequence acurrately captures EVERYTHING about them

(I do have a similar sequence for Namiku, but sadly, it's AU.)

Anyway

About the chapter

This started... actually, this chapter is the whole reason why Sora even went to Agrabah. It started, oh gee, I was still in school when I wrote this (don't ask how I remember that, I just got this vivid image of sitting in my school's computer lab while writing this. That's really all I remember)

This chapter

Right here

The rough drafts of it were really short (they were written in a journal. The longest thing I have ever written in a journal is that one short story that wasn't even over 3000 words). And, actually, they started in the last chapter.

They started with Kairi pausing because she had heard Sora's footsteps as he ran away. (It was one of the few things I lost when swapping over to the shopkeepers POV)

I'll have to post the original drafts

actually, I should probably just do a whole "extra" chapter in ASAS with the rough drafts from this chapter and the previous one.

Actually, let me go post those so that I can actually talk about this

Right

So, this was originally written entirely from Kairi's POV. However, the way the chapters were split and information that you needed to know demanded otherwise. However, I did manage to get in ALL the parts I wanted. I knew when I first wrote this that I'd have to write the end from Sora's POV, because I couldn't have you NOT know that Maleficent showed up

But I was disappointed, because I would lose this part that only came from Kairi's POV

"She wished he would keep talking, so that she could find him, hold him, tell him that whatever he was worried about didn't matter, that all that mattered was--"

I really loved it for some reason

However, when writing the sequence/chapter that has become affectionately known as "Hide and Seek" I managed to incorporate AND expand upon that

"She wanted to see him. She wanted him to know that everything was okay. She wanted to find him, then hug him hard, and he’d do that stupid thing where he’d pick her up, squeeze the air out of her lungs, and half scare her to death. Then she would call him silly, and tell him that he was being an idiot for hiding, for avoiding her like he was. She’d tell him that whatever he was worried about didn’t matter; all that mattered was—"

and I'm very very glad that I got to do that, because I really love that. It's the way it's worded; I feel like there's so much attatched emotionally to it (it's like Kairi's rant at the end of the Can't Escape sequence)

Anyway (this is all in spurts of what crosses through my head, and not exactly in any order)

Why is this sequence referred to as "Hide and Seek"

Well, it comes from Kairi paralleling all this to a game of hide and seek. The reason it turned into a label for this is because I put it as my subject title in the email to magik, and it somehow just stuck. I wanted to come up with a different chapter title for it, but I could never find one. Hide and Seek just stuck.

It did

It's fitting, though.

Even Sora parallels it to a game like when they were kids

Though it's obviously more real than a game.

Kairi learns that the hard way.

Sorry. I should leave that subject alone until the next chapter, when it's brought up.

So, I will go on to say that I am EXTREMELY surprised that I managed to squeeze so much out of the original drafts. When I started, I honestly thought that I was going to have to recount all of Kairi and Tifa being in Agrabah. It wasn't a lot, of course, but I didn't really like the idea of having to break the action. I would've if I had to, but I obviously didn't.

Because I quadrupled what I had. It went from 500 words to 2000. All because of the parallels to playing hide and seek

Well, and I elaborated more on Kairi searching than I think I planned to.

But adding in Kairi's thoughts and doubts certainly helped

(She has doubts. You would too if you went looking for someone you cared about, and you found them, but they hid from you and you had no clue why)

And expanding on the stuff from Sora's POV helped, too.

His conflictions about being found: the wanting to be found, and yet not wanting to face Kairi. The wanting to see Kairi, but not have to worry about the uncertainties that came with it.

And his darkness doesn't help matters

I didn't specify that it was doing anything in this chapter, but we all know it was. He wouldn't have run at the end if it wasn't.

and then:

"Was it really this easy to apologize?"

Gosh that line hurts my heart. Because it's hope-- but you know what's coming next, and you know that it doesn't work like you hope it will. Or, for me it's that way, at least.

And that play

That play.

"It was Tidus's line next, wasn't it?"

(I know I'm a bit out of order, but... meh)

Some of you seem very surprised that this play meant so much to them. But this play - the whole concept of it meaning so much, anyway - is very close to me. Very accurate to my childhood. I can relate to Sora, relate to the fact that this play was his life.

Because his father had taken him to see the play plenty of times before the school actually performed it (see previous post on the Can't Escape sequence for details on that). He knew that play by heart. All of his games, with Kairi being a princess and him being her knight, probably had their bases in that play. And then the school put on the play, and then Kairi knew about it, and they could expand upon it now that she knew too--

it's very much like my own childhood.

Me, magik, and a friend of ours and The Game. It was basically Harry Potter and then we added on all these other things on top of it until it wasn't Harry Potter anymore, and I'm sure that's what Sora did with that play. 

Our base was Harry Potter. And then we expanded on the magic in it, and added our own characters, and just kept adding and adding until it was something of our own creation. Of course, there were still traces of Harry Potter. There were spells and wands and potions. There was Malfoy family, and there was a Draco. There was a Voldemort (who was frequently called "Voldy-darling" I believe) and-

"Junior!"

The Game was my life. It really was. I still remember the Pond, the dragons, the Dragon Realm, the Beast Realm, the day we first "discovered" the Beasts, living on Mars, and that... whatever it was that could freeze time, the anti-grav rooms, that whole "cage" I had set up for my "pet snakes". I remember the capes, the realms, the fake weddings, the traveling, that universe when magik and Voldemort were siblings-

I could go on.

The Game meant a lot to me. It was my childhood.

And even when it wasn't The Game--

I did live my life like I was in a fairytale. Every second of my life was a daydream. (Of course, it stopped being that way a few years ago, and that's when I really started writing. I wanted to keep the fairytale, but I couldn't run around a playground and call myself by a different name anymore because there was no playground and I was in high school and high schoolers don't do stuff like that)

It's only implied that Sora had a thing for fairytales in canon

But that's what he did in my universe.

He lived his life like a fairytale.

And that could possibly even add on to the reasons why he fell into darkness. Riku showed up and Sora couldn't hold onto his fairytale anymore. 

And let me tell you, when your fairytale is ripped from your hands, life can get rough. I personally spent quite some time in this state of almost depression at the beginning of 7th grade when my fairytales stopped. It wasn't anything serious, but it was about that time that I started losing touch with my sixty some odd characters. I couldn't just throw them around (I don't quite know what I mean by that, but it's not literal) and have fun like I used to, and things actually felt kind of dark.

They got better, of course. I could substitute my fairytale with writing, and that helped a ton

I'm beginning to think Sora substituted his fairytale for darkness.

Of course, Sora's circumstances were completely different. For him, his fairytale was real. Except Riku was living it.

Hence the jealousy

Hence accepting the darkness to become stronger (and bring himself to his fairytale faster)

...

Sorry

I know that was a really big emotional spew

I'd go back to the chapter

but all that's left is hating Maleficent and having to stop writing periodically because I just couldn't stand her (even though she only had two lines...)

So...

expect the SoKai blog tomorrow. I don't want to spam you with it tonight, nor do I really have time to write it tonight...

And, yes, I have a Namiku blog planned, but I can't post it until we get further along in their relationship. Because I have blogged about their current status enough, thank you, and even if there are a few more details as of now, they don't make sense unless you know everything, and I don't plan on telling you everything until I have to, and that probably won't be for a while

lol I still don't have that Namiku blog written