Random Rant about Shad (chapter commentary on ch125. Sorta)

what? This is chapter commentary? I guess it is... sort of...

I have determined that I need a 3DS, not only because of KH3D, but because of Kid Icarus: Uprising.

Curious why I would possibly want that?

and

http://ask-darkpit.tumblr.com/post/21223870814/what-part-of-two-sides-of-the-same-coin-dont

and you should probably read through the rest of http://ask-darkpit.tumblr.com/ just because it's funny. (there are spoilers for Kid Icarus: Uprising, however. Don't say I didn't warn you)

Dark Pit now really reminds me of Shad, and I want to play Kid Icarus: Uprising for inspiration purposes, because I hear the relationship between him and regular Pit is... idk, something I can draw inspiration from (that ended up sounding really lame, but I have no idea how to put it, and I can't really rant about it without giving away spoilers (yes, I've spoiled myself, but I wanted to see just HOW MUCH Dark Pit was going to remind me of Shad, which is A LOT))

Basically, it's the light/dark "two sides of the same coin" relationship that I love, and to an extent that doesn't involve "IDIOT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!" (Like Ven/Van)

Anway, enough about Dark Pit

Let's talk about Shad!

art by the wonderful ssceles, which you can find on dA here

http://ssceles.deviantart.com/art/Darkness-Within-VanSo-175929219
(I realize that that just leads to this picture on dA, but you can find ssceles on dA through that)

I love this pic, because Sora's like "asdhfsdf, the darkness is eating me!!" and Shad's (that's technically Vanitas but shh) laughing "heheh, sucks for you, but this is great for me!" while he enjoys every second of it

I'm in an odd mood today, lo siento

But, with the hype about Dark Pit this morning, I've been in a mood to talk about Shad

And, y'know, it's fitting, given the villains question thing that I just posted

And, what the hey *goes to post the latest chapter to Dead Inside*

Sorry for spamming you with chapters, but talking about Shad would be hard if that chapter wasn't posted, just saying. 

*glances through notes*

Right, didn't think I had anything to say about this chapter

So, I'm really loving this character development I'm getting from Shad. As Organization Number 15 (don't know why I put archsage, sorry about that!) mentioned, it really adds depth to him, and good villains/antagonists need depth (something I've always had trouble with - I mean, I've had trouble with character depth with a while, but antagonist depth is especially hard for me.)

And then that huge rant he gave me in response to Cookie's equally large question-- I mean, it was awesome. Character development galore! (And my head-canon now states that the Shadow Courts have a larger role in my head than they used to - Shad's even yelled at the Knight, ah, former Knight a bit!(this is all reference to... a scrap idea from my novel, and Shad's bout of character development helped me develop it more, too. BONUS! But sorry if I'm confusing you))

See, this is the part of Shad that I really like, and I absolutely love this last chapter. Because it expands on something new: that Shad is nothing without Sora - something that I do need to develop if the thing with Maleficent is going to work properly.

That's why Shad denied a life where he had a chance with Kairi (in the question thing). Because a life where he had a chance with Kairi is a life where Sora doesn't exist, and a life he cannot live. As much as he hates to admit it, he needs Sora.

I know what you're wondering

"But, rar, doesn't that contradict the only thing he wants out of life is to drag Sora into darkness? If he needs Sora, then he can't drag Sora into darkness, because when he does that, Sora's gone!"

Well, I'm still developing that thought properly, and these might be two issues that end up sovling each other -- I'm just not quite sure as of yet, and I can't tell you because it's spoilers.

I mean, you can write the "needing Sora" vibe you get from the last chapter off as "I need to know where Sora is so that I can fulfill my purpose!" if it makes you feel better, but, I'll admit there is more to it than that. I just can't tell you what.

Which means I'm telling you more than I should, and confusing you.

Ah well.

I'm going to shut up now before I confuse you more, but first:

(you'll probably have to go to youtube to see the subs... sorry)

This song has always reminded me of Vanitas - with the "how can you smile like that?"

"Smile, cry, get angry, that's what you do. Expressionless, smileless, that's me..."

"Another me extremely annoys me."

Of course, not all of it fits Van. The song heavily focuses on that "light/dark, I'm nothing without you, even though I think I don't need you" vibe that I've come to love, which... doesn't entirely fit Van.

Entirely.

Idk.

It follows the theme of this post.

I'm going to go do school now

advantage #4 to online school! (starting whenver the crap you feel like it) this excitingness is outweighed by the fact it takes TEN HOURS to do school everyday. traditional homeschooling is better

Hide and Seek (commentary on ch123)

For starters

(art by kra on deviantart)

I have found a ton of "Sora struggling with his darkness" pictures, and yet I keep forgetting to post them. I know this isn't necesarily fitting for the chapter but most of the other pictures are of Vanitas and Sora, and even if I do tell you to pretend Vanitas is Shad, it doesn't work because Shad has nothing to do with this chapter

Sorry, no video this time around. The picture takes precedence, and this whole sequence is kind of special, so I don't want a random video thrown in with it

if you wish, I WAS going to post the AMV "Can you hear me?" by memoiri and you can go look it up (actually, you can just look up their channel, it's currently the featured vid) 

Why is this sequence so special?

Because, a) I can post my SoKai blog 

and (the more important) b) I really do love this whole "Kairi striving to find and save Sora" dynamic to my SoKai. Plus, this whole sequence acurrately captures EVERYTHING about them

(I do have a similar sequence for Namiku, but sadly, it's AU.)

Anyway

About the chapter

This started... actually, this chapter is the whole reason why Sora even went to Agrabah. It started, oh gee, I was still in school when I wrote this (don't ask how I remember that, I just got this vivid image of sitting in my school's computer lab while writing this. That's really all I remember)

This chapter

Right here

The rough drafts of it were really short (they were written in a journal. The longest thing I have ever written in a journal is that one short story that wasn't even over 3000 words). And, actually, they started in the last chapter.

They started with Kairi pausing because she had heard Sora's footsteps as he ran away. (It was one of the few things I lost when swapping over to the shopkeepers POV)

I'll have to post the original drafts

actually, I should probably just do a whole "extra" chapter in ASAS with the rough drafts from this chapter and the previous one.

Actually, let me go post those so that I can actually talk about this

Right

So, this was originally written entirely from Kairi's POV. However, the way the chapters were split and information that you needed to know demanded otherwise. However, I did manage to get in ALL the parts I wanted. I knew when I first wrote this that I'd have to write the end from Sora's POV, because I couldn't have you NOT know that Maleficent showed up

But I was disappointed, because I would lose this part that only came from Kairi's POV

"She wished he would keep talking, so that she could find him, hold him, tell him that whatever he was worried about didn't matter, that all that mattered was--"

I really loved it for some reason

However, when writing the sequence/chapter that has become affectionately known as "Hide and Seek" I managed to incorporate AND expand upon that

"She wanted to see him. She wanted him to know that everything was okay. She wanted to find him, then hug him hard, and he’d do that stupid thing where he’d pick her up, squeeze the air out of her lungs, and half scare her to death. Then she would call him silly, and tell him that he was being an idiot for hiding, for avoiding her like he was. She’d tell him that whatever he was worried about didn’t matter; all that mattered was—"

and I'm very very glad that I got to do that, because I really love that. It's the way it's worded; I feel like there's so much attatched emotionally to it (it's like Kairi's rant at the end of the Can't Escape sequence)

Anyway (this is all in spurts of what crosses through my head, and not exactly in any order)

Why is this sequence referred to as "Hide and Seek"

Well, it comes from Kairi paralleling all this to a game of hide and seek. The reason it turned into a label for this is because I put it as my subject title in the email to magik, and it somehow just stuck. I wanted to come up with a different chapter title for it, but I could never find one. Hide and Seek just stuck.

It did

It's fitting, though.

Even Sora parallels it to a game like when they were kids

Though it's obviously more real than a game.

Kairi learns that the hard way.

Sorry. I should leave that subject alone until the next chapter, when it's brought up.

So, I will go on to say that I am EXTREMELY surprised that I managed to squeeze so much out of the original drafts. When I started, I honestly thought that I was going to have to recount all of Kairi and Tifa being in Agrabah. It wasn't a lot, of course, but I didn't really like the idea of having to break the action. I would've if I had to, but I obviously didn't.

Because I quadrupled what I had. It went from 500 words to 2000. All because of the parallels to playing hide and seek

Well, and I elaborated more on Kairi searching than I think I planned to.

But adding in Kairi's thoughts and doubts certainly helped

(She has doubts. You would too if you went looking for someone you cared about, and you found them, but they hid from you and you had no clue why)

And expanding on the stuff from Sora's POV helped, too.

His conflictions about being found: the wanting to be found, and yet not wanting to face Kairi. The wanting to see Kairi, but not have to worry about the uncertainties that came with it.

And his darkness doesn't help matters

I didn't specify that it was doing anything in this chapter, but we all know it was. He wouldn't have run at the end if it wasn't.

and then:

"Was it really this easy to apologize?"

Gosh that line hurts my heart. Because it's hope-- but you know what's coming next, and you know that it doesn't work like you hope it will. Or, for me it's that way, at least.

And that play

That play.

"It was Tidus's line next, wasn't it?"

(I know I'm a bit out of order, but... meh)

Some of you seem very surprised that this play meant so much to them. But this play - the whole concept of it meaning so much, anyway - is very close to me. Very accurate to my childhood. I can relate to Sora, relate to the fact that this play was his life.

Because his father had taken him to see the play plenty of times before the school actually performed it (see previous post on the Can't Escape sequence for details on that). He knew that play by heart. All of his games, with Kairi being a princess and him being her knight, probably had their bases in that play. And then the school put on the play, and then Kairi knew about it, and they could expand upon it now that she knew too--

it's very much like my own childhood.

Me, magik, and a friend of ours and The Game. It was basically Harry Potter and then we added on all these other things on top of it until it wasn't Harry Potter anymore, and I'm sure that's what Sora did with that play. 

Our base was Harry Potter. And then we expanded on the magic in it, and added our own characters, and just kept adding and adding until it was something of our own creation. Of course, there were still traces of Harry Potter. There were spells and wands and potions. There was Malfoy family, and there was a Draco. There was a Voldemort (who was frequently called "Voldy-darling" I believe) and-

"Junior!"

The Game was my life. It really was. I still remember the Pond, the dragons, the Dragon Realm, the Beast Realm, the day we first "discovered" the Beasts, living on Mars, and that... whatever it was that could freeze time, the anti-grav rooms, that whole "cage" I had set up for my "pet snakes". I remember the capes, the realms, the fake weddings, the traveling, that universe when magik and Voldemort were siblings-

I could go on.

The Game meant a lot to me. It was my childhood.

And even when it wasn't The Game--

I did live my life like I was in a fairytale. Every second of my life was a daydream. (Of course, it stopped being that way a few years ago, and that's when I really started writing. I wanted to keep the fairytale, but I couldn't run around a playground and call myself by a different name anymore because there was no playground and I was in high school and high schoolers don't do stuff like that)

It's only implied that Sora had a thing for fairytales in canon

But that's what he did in my universe.

He lived his life like a fairytale.

And that could possibly even add on to the reasons why he fell into darkness. Riku showed up and Sora couldn't hold onto his fairytale anymore. 

And let me tell you, when your fairytale is ripped from your hands, life can get rough. I personally spent quite some time in this state of almost depression at the beginning of 7th grade when my fairytales stopped. It wasn't anything serious, but it was about that time that I started losing touch with my sixty some odd characters. I couldn't just throw them around (I don't quite know what I mean by that, but it's not literal) and have fun like I used to, and things actually felt kind of dark.

They got better, of course. I could substitute my fairytale with writing, and that helped a ton

I'm beginning to think Sora substituted his fairytale for darkness.

Of course, Sora's circumstances were completely different. For him, his fairytale was real. Except Riku was living it.

Hence the jealousy

Hence accepting the darkness to become stronger (and bring himself to his fairytale faster)

...

Sorry

I know that was a really big emotional spew

I'd go back to the chapter

but all that's left is hating Maleficent and having to stop writing periodically because I just couldn't stand her (even though she only had two lines...)

So...

expect the SoKai blog tomorrow. I don't want to spam you with it tonight, nor do I really have time to write it tonight...

And, yes, I have a Namiku blog planned, but I can't post it until we get further along in their relationship. Because I have blogged about their current status enough, thank you, and even if there are a few more details as of now, they don't make sense unless you know everything, and I don't plan on telling you everything until I have to, and that probably won't be for a while

lol I still don't have that Namiku blog written

I don’t care if it’s not that simple. It’s what’s going to happen (commentary on ch51-53 of Can’t Escape)

Here's the blog about the last sequence in Can't Escape (see, the reason why I wait til all the chapters are posted to blog is because usually with crossovers, we don't write in chapters. We write ALL OF IT AT ONCE and then go back and add in chapters. So, i'd like to blog about it ALL AT ONCE)

Now, let's just hope I remember what I want to say about it, because I never wrote any notes down...

however, considering I only just started reading it and I already have something to say, I think we're in good shape

So, the very first paragraph of this was actually meant to go in Dead Inside. However, the chapter I thought I'd need to put it in ended up being much longer than I expected it to (it went from a 500 word rough draft to somewhere over 2000 words) and so it was taken out

and it was put here!

Oh, right, I still have to address Kairi learning how to fight. I think I had originally planned to have them stay in Olympus Coliseum and have Roxas give her some pointers, but it never happened. It seems like it was just one of those "random ideas that don't work out". I end up with quite a few of those.

My characters are always complaining about their luck! Sora does it, Riku does it, and now Kairi's doing it too! Sheesh!

Hmm...

Okay, so the restaurant they all go to is actually based on a real life restaurant. It's called "Raising Cane's" and they literally only sell chicken. The four things I listed on this menu are literally all they have (minus the kid's meal)

So, Tifa walking in and realizing they lacked burgers was a little humor for you. (Though, I have seen people walk in to that restaurant, study the menu, and then walk out)

Here's what Kairi says about that school play

"Sora had an almost unhealthy obsession with that play. Even before we performed it at school, his dad had taken him to see it at least five times, and the auditions were slightly unfair because he knew every single line of the play by heart. And, I don’t know if Sora’s like this here, but he was really into make-believe stuff, so we had this entire game going just based on the play- it was ridiculous. But fun."

I have a lot of random quotes that were supposed to go in this that didn't end up making it in, as usual.

like this one:

Kairi: If I'm a princess, will being away from my own universe have any... serious repercussions?
Somoene: That's an odd question.
Kairi: I grew up with Sora
(confused looks)
Kairi: Was he not like that here? *laughs* He lived his life like it were a fairtale. I cannot tell you how picky he was about details like that. It rubbed off on me. 

Oh, and Kairi's embarrassing moment - Selphie trying to get her and Sora to kiss for a lot of munny - is actually something that started here

Kairi: We never reenacted the movie version of the play, though Selphie promised us A LOT of munny if we ever did
Roxas: Why didn't you do it?
Kairi: *flushes* well, the movie version requierd the two lead roles, me and Sora, to kiss. Which is probably why she wanted us to do it...
Roxas: And you didn't want to?
Kairi: We were twelve. We thought it'd be gross.
Roxas: What do you think now?
Magik's Kairi: Roxas, stop teasing her
Kairi: I think I need to focus on finding Sora, and then I'll see what happens when I get him back. There's no telling how much he might've... changed.

I have to admit, though, I couldn't have possibly tied Sephiroth into this any better than I did. Going from Tifa's shifty glances, to Kairi's annoyance, to mentioning the night before, to "It's been years since the last time I've had any sort of darkness meddle with me. I'd let my guard down" to Sephiroth.

Granted, it probably wasn't any more than two years ago that he was gotten rid of in my universe

but, still. It flowed really well.

I have no idea why I'm talking about this.

Oh, but yeah, Tifa's thinking about Zack. "Him being alive here won't change anything."

And then Kairi's really bitter.

The bitter side of my characters always seems to come out in the crossovers. The only time I've seen Namine angry is in a crossover. Granted, it was AU, but still. (I do find it incredibly funny that that side of her only comes out in the AU crossovers, though)

I'm almost surprised that no one's brought up the fact that Kairi's mom isn't around anymore in my universe...

Though, this last chapter has only been up like, a day.

But she's not around anymore. I don't think she's dead. I think she decided she wanted to do something else with her life and went to travel the worlds or something (and she's probably the reason why Kairi's dad knows about other worlds, actually.) I haven't thought about it a lot, though...

Poor Tifa. I always feel so bad for her in this segment, because she has her understanding of like EVERYTHING just taken and torn out of shape. Roxas and Sora existing at the same time, Kairi having a Nobody, all that. It just fries her brain.

Oh, btw Flightfoot, it's mainly because Namine's Kairi's Nobody that my Kairi thinks magik's universe is weird.

"I trusted Sora! I trusted him!"

which is similar to this quote that never made it in

"How did I not see it!? It was staring me in the face the entire time, and I didn't even notice... I guess trust makes you blind. You trust that they'll tell you when something goes wrongs, so you don't bother to pay attention..."

Which, actually I think was based on the events that take place in the 5th Wizards book by Diane Duane "A Wizard's Dilema". I think Nita says something along those lines.

Oh, I love this:

"He was freakishly overprotective of me. Like, Riku to Namine, freakishly overprotective of me."

Actually, I love this entire rant from Kairi.

It just has so much emotion in it. And, I know I wrote it, but I still love it.

Maybe it's because this is what it takes for Kairi to realize just how unwilling she is to let Sora go again.

This is where the: "Hell no, I am not just going to sit here and let him do this to himself again. I am going to find him, and I am going to save him."

And this is probably my favorite thing about my SoKai.

Really.

Just let me get another chapter posted to Dead Inside, and I'll have a blog post about it

*gasp!*

OHcrap, I left out like three words in that sentence! Magik!! We have an error we need to fix!!

"I do not care what it save him"

I completely left out "takes to"

Smooth...

Okay, that's it.

I could sit and rant more about SoKai, but I'll wait til I can blog about it.

What? Not another headache… (commentary on ch122)

erg... I guess it wasn't my glasses that was causing them...

oh well

FIRST OFF! A FEW UPDATES!!

The likeliness of me doing absolutely anything anniversary related on the anniversary itself has gone from "unlikely" to "most likely not going to happen" because my grandma decided she was going to come over and make me and my little sister dinner since my mom's going to help magik move back from Florida. That, on top of school, means that me sitting and just blogging all day (like I'd planned to do) impossible.

So, don't expect to be seeing anything anniversary related 'til the weekend.

Speaking ov anniversary related things, YOU CAN KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS!! in fact *goes to put this in the update on fanfic* This'll be your last chance, though, because come Friday (at latest) I'll start answering them. 

Now

For once, I think the video actually fits the theme of the chapter! Don't expect to have it happen again! were there AMVS with older posts? whoopppsss (I don't remember any because I apparenty didn't write it down idk)

I found this video ages ago, and I still love every single thing about it.

What's really weird, is one Russian gymnist used part of this song in her routine... it was really weird...

anyway

wonderful video

ONTO THE CHAPTER!

Having this chapter written from the shopkeeper's POV was something I consdiered shortly after consecutively writing the scenes between him and Sora and then him and Kairi. I figured, "why bother doing Sora's POV and then Kairi's, when I can just put it in the shopkeeper's and solve my frequently swapping POVs problem?"

actually, jk, for the life of me I honestly can't remember WHY I decided to write it from his POV. I think it was some stray idea, and I fell in love with it after developing the shopkeeper's character a bit more

I really love this shopkeeper, btw.

I'll have to post the original drafts of this scene-- Sora's POV and Kairi's POV, and then that one snippet of conversation between the shopkeeper and Sora that just didn't make it in... later...

Sora just did what I normally do when shopping in KH or a similar game. I just buy ALL THAT I POSSIBLY CAN THAT I THINK I'D NEED in rapid succession. 

Yes, that is Terra's wayfinder. Originally, it was just goign to be some charm that was said to be lucky and- I don't quite know where I was going with originally. But as soon as I thought that it could be Terra's wayfinder, all this stuff just clicked into place.

And you'll have to wait 'til book 5 to know exactly WHAT clicked

Sora's pocket's must be huge... I don't understand how heroes LITERALLY carry around all their equipment. Because, y'know, everyone from Link to Cloud does it. Normally, I wouldn't have even cared, but I'm starting to write my fanfic in a slightly more literal light...

Btw, the 500 munny is basically what he would've paid (added to what he already paid, of course) had he bought those elixirs at full-price

the extra 100 (that made the 600) would be for the full price of the hi-potions and ethers. Roughly. Give or take about 10 munny

I know it's not clear, but Sora hears Kairi coming. It's one of the things I lost when swapping from his POV to the shopkeeper's. Actually, I think it's the only thing I lost... and considering what I gained from the shopkeeper, it was definitely a good idea to swap POVs.

Oh, wait, I lost Kairi hearing Sora, too. Oh well. I'll post the original drafts of this scene... eventually....

That's all I can think of to say...

I'm gonna go start planning crud for the anniversary now...

Commentary on ch121

there was some rant here I cut out *shrug*

onto the chapter!

oh wait

I have a freaking ton of reviews to reply to

(working sort of backward)

ch120 from Cookie:
Yes, new locations are nice
And you're the third person to say that about the wolf

ch119 from KKBeckett(yeah, slightly out of order...)
I've been thinking about Kairi getting new clothes ever since you mentioned it! I haven't come up with anything yet, but I am thinking about it!
Tifa might hope Cloud's with Sora... I'm not entirely sure why you're asking this question. I know that, since Tifa's already looking for Cloud, she probably figured there was a high chance they might run into Sora while doing so

ch120 from KKBeckett:
Sorry I scared you!
And I have no clue who'd hate it more. Probably Larxene. Sora's used to sand, but not so much the heat. And the sand and heat combined are just... ugh

120 from Peach:
I can't answer any of those questions. Sorry.

ch120 from archsage:
I don't remember them being a pain in re:Coded. Though, thinking about it, I just had trouble with Agrabah in re:Coded, period. So...

ch120 from Flightfoot:
Again, can't really answer...

(I don't think I answered reviews from ch119...)

ch119 from Cookie:
Good news! Joseph wouldn't be weirded out if you decided to give him a hug! I don't quite know how you'd get to him to give him the hug, but he wouldn't be weirded out
I hope Tifa and Kairi searching for Cloud and Sora will live up to your expecations, too. But that might be hard because I have no clue what you're expecting...

ch119 from archsage:
Yeah, they're all probably really shocked (29 would be really proud though, once he got over the shock)

oh, this is why I didn't answer reviews from 119. You guys all said pretty much the same thing...

I covered that like... five posts ago (in the post titled: "this calls for a celebration!")

so...

NOW ONTO THE CHAPTER!!

I am going to start by saying that, according to Microsoft Word: "Here." is spelled wrong. It only marks it wrong if there's a period after it, but it's not a green squiggly line that points out grammer, it's a red squiggly line, saying that it's spelled wrong.

"Here."

nice going Word! Nice going!

I don't have any notes about the Agrabah portion of the chapter. Lo siento.

I do have notes for the scene at the end of the chapter, however

So, this scene actually started off as Kairi having insomnia, and then Tifa also having insomnia, and them talking for about ten minutes before Tifa decides: "neither of us can sleep, so let's just go!"

Except that screwed with timing, so I scrapped it in favor of this scene with Joseph

Yes, I sort of stole Leon reading a book from magik.

Leon's perceptions of lightning and fire are both taken from Avatar.

The description of lightning is nearly word for word of what Iroh called it in Book 2: "Bitter Work" (my family's favorite episode, because of Foofoocuddlypoops) He was talking to Zuko about lightning, and he was like "Lightning is precise and deadly, like Azula"

The description of fire was loosely based off of what Jeong Jeong (the Deserter) described fire as to... erm... him talking to Katara is what comes to mind, but I'm pretty sure he says it to Aang, first. I don't remember. The Deserter is one of those episode I don't watch frequently

Yuffie's response to Leon's observations on lightning and fire reminds me of Toph. 

what?

what do you mean I didn't take any notes on what happens when Joseph returns to Castle Oblivion?

sigh...

Actually, I can't think of anythin I'd want to say about it except that I really love that little sequence. I do.

And... here's this little conversation I wrote down

2: This wouldn't happen if he'd just use the Repair Program... (he's referring to Riku nearly dying and having trouble recovering and all that)
7: He's not compatible.
2: Really? Since when? (2 remembers everything, so he's extremely confused that he doesn't know about this)
7: Well, we figured that out about a week ago... You weren't there.

AND THAT'S ALL ABOUT THE CHAPTER!!!

Commentary on ch26 of ASAS/Zack’s death

Unless you REALLY want to spoil yourself (not that there's much to spoil)

Like I have with KH3D

even though it's mainly been on accident...

Anyone else heard things about KH3D that really want to make you strangle Xehanort, put a bullet through his head, and then shove a Master Sword through his gut? I've heard at least two different things.

I have also determined I absolutely need this game before I write book 5. Considering how long it's taking to write Dead Inside, I don't think that will be a problem.

Anyway

the notes on this chapter are less of notes and more of every single thought I thought while writing this. Which are sometimes completely random. I'm going to type this all up anyway

So, I completely rehashed the scene. I pulled up the original document, read it, and thought "this is poop". My battle scene was, like, three paragraphs. It was ridiculous.

So I dissected it, and edited it and rewrote it

(Lucky for you, because I expanded a freaking ton)

The only thing that I don't like about the rewritten scene, though, is there's this part that I had to cut out because it killed the flow. And I absolutely loved that part. It was towards the beginning, and Zack was just talking about crap and his pace grew increasingly faster so Cloud had to practically run to keep up with him, and he was tuning out most of what Zack said...

I thought it was funny

about here I start just sort of copying my notes I wrote during the chapter

on another note, I've found out that Xehanort is permanently an old man in my head. I know he's not, because he's possessed Terra's body and all that, but I can only see him as an old man. It's weird.

*later*

Aqua!! You are not in this scene!! SHUUUTTTUPPPPP!!!!!

(Terra, you can be quiet too)

*after pausing and glancing at my word count*

Ohmygosh it's happening again!!! But this time it's WOORRRRRSSEEE!!! My word count doesn't stop on a multiple of 10 ever time I pause (which it's done before from time to time. And it wouldn't happen just once, it would do that for like an entire day) now it stops on mulitples of 100!!! WHATTHEHECKKK!?!??

*after making a lot of changes to the rewritten document*

All these differences are some- ohmygosh it happened in my AN document too!!! I STOPPED AT 12900 WORDS!!! AOIDFHSOIFJSFOIWJEWAOIJwhatttt?

Anyway

All these differences are somehow reminding me of Harry Potter, and the differences between the movie and the books. (fun note, the line: "That THING has a name!?" (Hermione in regards to Fluffy the threeheaded dog) is not in the book. Neither is any line even particularly clsoe to it)

*probably after Braig's disgruntled about taking so much of a beating*

"I didn't sign up to be collateral damage!!!"

(or, maybe it wasn't after that...)

All I know is that I went and looked up Braig to see if he spent any part of his battles in BBS upside down (which he does) and then I went and watched his scenes in Terra's story in Radiant garden.

Hence the quote

I have also learned that there's this phrase I picked up saying due to Merlin (TV series): "Be skeptical, Gaius, beee skepticall!!" (though, my favorite phrase I've said during that show is: "get my Master Sword out of Arthur's uncle, I need to chop Morgana's head off!!") Anyway, I don't just say that phrase to Gaius anymore (I'd say it to him because he's the only one you can count on to notice that something is wrong when Merlin doesn't, and "Servant of Two Masters" is definitely one of those episodes that he needs to be skeptical in). I said it, well, thought it, to Terra while watching those scenes in Radiant Garden.

Speaking of Xehanort (don't ask me how the heck any of what I just said recently applies to Xehanort, that's just what I wrote) I finally got around to watching the English KH3D trailer today (had to, it was the only full screenversion I could find to download) and I spent pretty much the entire thing "shooting" at him. (I'll usually do that to a video game or movie or TV show character that I don't like. For example: The Emperor from Star Wars and Arthur's uncle from Merlin). After a while I ended up saying "bang" as I was doing so, and my mom said to my dad very casually: "She's shooting at her computer... should we be worried about her?" I explained I was shooting at Xehanort (which my mom completely understood. LOVE MY MOM!) and said he was likea  cockroach who just KEEPS COMING BACK!!

Or Bowser  in that one game of Super Smash Brothers I played. I'd throw him off, and he'd come back, even though he had over 300 damage. It was ridiculous

"And my fight's with anyone who messes with him while he's working!"

Makes me think of Skyward Sword, and Ghirahim yelling at all the Bokoblins to make Link leave him alone.

My friend just beat Skyward Sword two days ago (insisted I come over and watch her do it) and so that scene's pretty fresh in my mind.

Btw, Ghirahim is awesome. He just is. Probably my favorite Zelda villain.

*during some point of writing the battle sequence*

Ugh, Zack has a sword! I keep wanting to type "blade" instead of "sword" but I know I use the word "sword" when referring to Cloud or Zack fighting.

*later*

Probably mainly because I happen to be listening to the music from the scene, but when I wrote the part with Zack attacking Xehanort from behind and Xehanort avoiding it, it reminded me of what Ven did in the KH2FM secret ending

Which makes me think of Dark Blizzaga

Which I've realized a LOT of KH villains ues! Xehanort uses it like three times in that scene, and Vanitas uses it at least once (he also uses some form of Thunder magic, but still... WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BLIZZARD MAGIC!?)

*later*

I love how most of my battle music for Paper Mario TTYD has all these random background sounds. I mean, yeah, sometimes it's annoying, but the battle music just wouldn't be the same without the sound of the curtains going up at the beginning.

*as the song on my iPod changes*

SILENT REALM MUSIC!!!AHHISODHFASRUNFORMSOFISHDFOSMFYLIFEE!!!!

*After Xehanort tugs at Zack's darkness*

Xehanort! You don't play fair! *shakes head in shame*

While, tugging at Zack's darkness certainly disoriented him, I doubt it did much other damage.

Not that... it really matters... I suppose...

*later*

WAIT A MINUTE!! While, yes, Xehanort is permanently an old man in my head, you can't go calling him one, Zack! Because that doesn't work!!

*probably after one time that Zack runs to heal*

I know it's not just me who runs frantically away from some boss/villain when they unleash a large attack or you need to heal. It just occurred to me, though....

How weird do you look to that boss/villain when you do that?

Pretty weird, I bet... 

We've reached that odd point in my writing where the battle is borderline between realistic and what you would typically expect from a video game battle...

Hrm....

Oh! I know! Xehanort's using magic to avoid getting hurt like a normal person would (and he was probably kind enough to cast the same spell on Braig, too. Probably)

Zack, however, isn't nearly as lucky

*While planning to have Zack dodge away from Xehanort*

Does Zack backflip? No, that's just Link... Zack (and pretty much every other Squeenix character) dodgerolls.

Oh! Riku backflips! I forgot about him!

(Only really thinkg about this because I needed Zack to avoid an attack, and since I was playing Skyward Sword (helping my friend with the skeletons (Stalfos?) with four swords and deadly attacks) I'd often attack, and then quickly back flip out of the way before I could get hit. Which, btw, backflipping is probably my favorite way to avoid attacks in a Zelda game.)

Huh, that's all my notes.

Well, I will give you this random bit of trivia:

In the VERY FIRST draft of this scene, Aerith wasn't there. She didn't show up until the second draft (the one that you read is the third). In fact, the second draft was really only written to fix things so she could show up.

I wrote the Aerith's part while listening non-stop to "Hurt" by Thomas Bergersen. I was in school, at lunch, listening to random TSFH, and that song came on, and it was like: "INSTANT INSPIRATION!!" so I put it on a loop until I finished writing the scene

That's really it...

Commentary on ch120

In other news, I beat Epic Mickey today. The ending did come really quick... However, I will give the game the fact that the boss battle was like the LONGEST BOSS BATTLE I have ever fought. I mean, Xmenas from KH2 comes to mind to rival it, but it's really hard to tell... Espeically considering one game is "fight the boss directly five times in a row!" and the other is "let's do all this roundabout crap that will eventually get rid of the boss!!"

*shrug*

POST ABOUT ZACK TWO POSTS AGO! (you guys should really look at it. I mean, I understand that posterous has been down for the past two days, so I'm not upset or anything, just making sure you know that it's there!)

And... time to talk about the chapter

I'd do review replies for the last chapter, but it's basically just:

"Yes, Joseph is awesome" and that's about it. 

Oh, except:

Peach: Your question about Tifa. (well, it was more of a comment, but still)

This is actually something that is explained later, but it's explained very lightly and I have no idea how soon it will be posted. So, I'll explain it for you now.

All of this arguing was caused by Sora's Shadow. All of it. And, considering he was pretty mad at Tifa at the time, she was affected the worst. That, and, things like this haven't happened to her since Sephiroth was around. It's been years since Sephiroth was around in my universe. She had let her guard down over time which allowed Shad a better vantage point to mess with her

So the reason that all of her apologies were half-hearted to begin with was that Shad had a better grip on her, and he was desperately trying to keep the conversation from going in the direction of returning Kairi's hope to her.

Did you follow all that? I sure hope you did.

ONTO THE CHAPTER!!

For starters, it's nice I live in a desert. Writing Sora's complaints about Agrabah and its heat feels so natural (as is Aladdin's "you get used to it" even though I think that's in the next chapter...).

"Sora, don't try to mutter a healing spell. You only know one."

He was trying to "mutter a healing spell" instead of just casting Cure. I have no idea why, and I can't blame the books I recently read for it, because I read those like, a week ago, and I wrote this about a month ago.

SPEAKING OF BOOKS!

there's this series called "The Beyonders" that was really interesting to read. If you have time, you might want to read them.

Moving on. (prepare yourself for a rant!)

Agrabah, in my head, looks like some cross between the games and the movie. Or... let me put it this way. It's got pretty much the same layout as KH1 (with a couple extra back alleys) but it also has BUSY streets and the shops aren't deserted and whatnot.

I like my Agrabah. This is slightly random, but I was reading this Zelda fanfic a while back, and the author spent a lot of time explaining the townspeople of... Kakariko, I think it was, and at the end they apologized for it. And I was like: "really? More fanfics need stuff like this!" Because most of them (mine included) focus on the main characters and nothing else.

Though, that's not hard with a base like KH. If there's one thing that botheres me about the KH series, it's the lack of random NPCs. You go to a different world which SHOULD be bustling with a bunch of people, and you find the three or four main characters from whatever movie it's based on instead. It bothers me. I mean, I understand in some places, such as Deep Jungle, that there aren't people there, and that's fine. But places like Agrabah have NO one. I mean, you can write it off as the Heartless scaring them away, but... still! There needs to be more Worlds like Traverse Town, where there's all these random people milling about! And, even then, there's not a lot of people in Traverse Town!! It bothers me! I mean, maybe it's because I was raised on Nintendo, and if you haven't noticed, Nintendo games have a LOT of random NPCs. Rogueport is full of them! Zelda games are full of them! I mean, Twilight Princess is a smidge lacking, there's about ten people a town, but- well, Ordon is small, a lot of people in Kakariko were killed, and Castle Town is FULL of them!
I mean, KH is amazing, don't get me wrong, but the lackof random NPCs is another reason why I think I love Nintendo more. Sorry to say it, Squeeniz has good stories, but Nintendo just- I don't know. They're story-lines might be lacking, but it's certainly made up by gameplay and things like NPCs that you can sit and listen to for an hour as they talk about random crud.
Which reminds me, FF13 has seriously disappointed me. I mean, the storyline's great, but I'm tired of the "just keep walking til we hit the next cutscene" layout of the game. I want more GAMEPLAY, thank you. Especially because when I don't feel like fighting enemies (which is frequently) I don't have extra time to make up for it later. It's just like: cutscene, cutscene, boss! And then I'm not prepared because I haven't been fighting enemies! it's no wonder I haven't finished it yet! Usually, I sit and play a game til it's done (with the exception of a few Mario games on handheld systems... but those are TOUGH). But FF13bores me! It's like sitting and reading a book or, more accurately, watching a movie. One very long movie. No challenging gameplay to overcome. No challenge at all. I get ten minutes of fighting enemies and walking, and then I hit a cutscene, and we're on the move again. I miss naviagting temples and finding that one guy who holds that random secret you need to activate some statue to get to some place so you find the key that unlocks the chest that has the item you need to move on. Again, that could be just because I was raised on Nintendo.
Maybe FF13'll get better. I mean, I'm on the second disc and it hasn't picked up yet, but one can hope...

okay, sorry about the rant. I'll move on now.

The annoyance towards the Bandits (the Heartless that Sora ends up fighting) was taken from personal experience. They are my LEAST FAVORITE Heartless. Probably just because of how ANNOYING they are during the battle with the giant Tiger Head (entrance to the Cave of Wonders), but I still hate them

If you haven't noticed, this chapter has a lot more detail than usual. It was a side effect of that Zelda fanfic I was reading, which had a lot of detail. I don't know if I'll be able to keep the detail up, but I think I might try.

Is it... sad that the most violent scenes I have written are between Shad and the wolf?

So! (commentary on ch119)

I finished redesigning Riku's dark mode. I'm not gonna post it tonight (I think I'll wait until it's mentioned in story, which shouldn't be too long from now... shouldn't...)

I just remembered, that I need to get around to posting one of the like, three pictures I drew of Sora with that scar (he looks pretty epic =P)

Oh, also, I haven't gotten around to working on anything concerning Zack. I planned to, but then magik sent me the next bit of the scene we're working on, and so I had to finish that...

I do hope we'll be able to post that scene soon. It's coming up REALLY quickly in my universe, but I have no clue how far off SHE is... And, considering she's lacking a computer at the moment... hrm...

oh well

POST ABOUT ZACK ONE POST AGO

REVIEW REPLIES TWO POSTS AGO

IF YOU'RE STILL LOOKING FOR IT, THE TRANSLATION FOR CAN'T ESCAPE IS THREE POSTS AGO! (I think...)

and, finally

UPLOADING A CHAPTER IS NOT PROCRASTINATING, NOO!!

(If I really wanted to procrastinate, I could play Thrillville (I'm working on knocking your scores off the charts, magik! haha!))

 So, time to talk about the chapter

oh, look, only three notes about the chapter... great....

Well, I think the main reason they all listen to Joseph here is because they're confused, and not because they actually think they need to listen to him. They're just too bewildered to do anything else.

"Riku's like this 64% of the time"

I'd bump it up to a 80sumtin% when you factor in loss of blood, but okay.

Kairi, you're the one who asked- ugh. No wonder this was so hard too write. I'm so glad you get better.
I think I'm going shove a Master Sword through Shad's gut now...

Shad: No you won't, you-

Oh shut up!

 I have to wonder whether or not Joseph's purposely emphasizing forgiveness here (when he stops Yuffie and all that). It's like Aang did, in the Southern Raider's episode, and Katara's about to steal Appa--

You guys know what I'm talking about.

Okay, I'm starting to see what you meant, Cookie, when you said that Kairi was starting to annoy you... She still gets better... just wait...

"There's a but!"

Hey look! There's that quote from the Hunger Games that I integrated cleverly into my story! Yaayy~~ (I'm in an OODDD mood tonight, don't ask)

That's about it

Sorry for any grammatical errors. I really only skimmed through this when I read it through before posting it. I've looked at this conversation so many times...

oh, and, final note:

HOLY MOLYTHIS CONVERSATION AND LONG AND IS NOW FOUR CHAPTERRS!!! WHAAAA----!?!?!

Translation of ch50 Can’t Escape

Goodness, I missed like three messages from magik

and she didn't notify me that she posted the chapter to Can't Escape!

So, if you wanted a translation, here it is now

(btw, this is all from memory. the translation is I think I don't know how I could've remembered the entire chapter. It might not be ENTIRELY accurate, but I DID just write this yesterday. You would think that I'd remember what I wrote...)

Okay, so, the first thing that 6 says Riku translates

I would hope that you know enough Spanish to know that "seis" is "six"

this would be easier if I just did:

Riku: 6! speak english please!

6: I don't want to!

Riku: 6, we want to understand you. And they (everyone else in CO) can't understand you because they can't understand Spanish. And I don't want to have to translate for them.

6: For you?
(I realize this doesn't ENTIRELY make sense, but he's answering Riku's earlier "speak english please" question, technically.)

Riku: Sure...

6: I would, but... I can't. Sorry. I can't speak English any more.

Riku: Seriously?

6: Sadly, yes

(after the short exchange with 7)

Riku: Do you know why?

6: No. I don't know.

6: Why do you want to know?

Riku: 7 wants to fix you

6: And if I don't want to be fixed?

(now, teasing 7)

Riku: How sad! 7 doesn't like when we speak in Spanish. He wants to understand us! Ah, poor guy!

6: Yes! We should speak in Spanish more often!

(exchange with 7)

Riku: I think we're bothering him

(when Namine comes up, Riku starts to ask "como estas?" which is basically "what's up" in Spanish. It took his brain a moment to remember what language he needed to be speaking in)

6: Namine! I think Riku likes you!
(little note about Spanish: 6, here, uses the more familiar form of "you". He uses "tu" instead of "usted" (which he had been using for the rest of the conversastion). This was mainly just a slip on my part, but only because I didn't think "le gusta" got the point across as well. Maybe it did, but "gustar" is such a WEIRD verb.)
(In my head, actually, Riku's yelling at 6 for using the familiar form of "you" on Namine and not because of what 6 actually said :P)

I'd assume you know (or can guess) that "No es nada" means "it's nothing"

6: You don't have to be embarrassed! you can-

Riku: (in english) Shut up!

6: Sorry Riku. If you want me to stop, you'll have to tell me in Spanish

Riku: (in Spanish) Shut up!
(At least, I think that's what "shut up" is in Spanish. That's what google translate says, but I don't entirely trust it)

6: Why? If you like her, you should tell her. Why hide it? I don't see the point in hiding. Besides, acting the way you are, she's going to notice soon. (note, that last sentence wasn't a direct translation: It's what I wanted to say ORIGINALLY, but getting it to mean the same exact thing in Spanish was too complicated) I think it would be better if-

~Now, Riku speaks Japanese here. Putting it VERY LIGHTLY, he says "shut up, idiot!"

However, "damare" more acurately translates to "shut your face" or something ruder than that. "Bakayaro" translates roughly to idiot ("baka" means idiot), but it can also translate to, again, something ruder.

Riku: You didn't understand that, did you?

~Riku then goes on to apologize in Japanese, figuring that 6 would understand him. Why Japanese? Well, because I think it's easier to get the point across of "I am extremely sorry!" In Japanese just by what form of the words you use... not entirely sure, though. 

(I feel sorry for Riku here, he has like three different languages running through his head)
Riku: Eh? (which is the Japanese version of "huh?") You want- (finally switching to spanish:) You want me to explain in Spanish? But I thought- uhm- Spanish doesn't have the vocabulary that- *sighs* I'm really sorry, 6! I was mad and wanted you to be quiet.  I didn't mean it. Sorry.

6: It's fine

Riku: You didn't understand me

(6 grins)

Riku: (In Japanese) I hate you...

6: What?

Riku: (Spanish) I don't like you. You really made me think-

6: What did you tell me? (referring to what Riku said earlier in Japanese)

Riku: Ah... You're right. It's fine.

And the rest of it is explained.

So....

yup

I’ve realized something about myself… (commentary ch118)

I have a secret thing for VenxVan. I'm not sure if I should be disturbed, or...

more importantly

~song the Fighter aslkdfj Zerith feels I'm too lazy to embed it but here's a link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZVy15dqlX0

It's been a while since a song has made me cry. But I was listening to this, I had the lyrics up, I was kind of singing to it (it's a fairly simple song)-- and then I got three minutes into it and it was like fdosifdsiofhsdoifnsdofjisdflsdjfoisdfns and I sat and cried for the next five minutes

I don't think I (currently) know of a song that could possibly be more Zerith (ZackxAerith) than this one.

*sniffle*

anyway!!

REVIEW REPLIES TWO POSTS AGO

A SLIGHTLY INTERESTING I SUPPOSE POST ONE POST AGO (which, apparently, is having some trouble with comments. So, if you commented on the last post, and I haven't answered it, there is a chance that Posterous for some reason didn't process the comment. Please check and make sure that any comment you might've posted is still there)

TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE CHAPTER!!

For starters, some of your reviews confused me. Quite a few of you were like "oh yay! Kairi's getting her faith back in Sora!! this is great!!" (I paraphrased) and that confused me, because I knew that THIS chapter was coming. I kept wondering if the flow of the conversation was off, because we go from Kairi having faith in Sora to this shouting match in her refusal to believe it-- But neither of my beta's complained about the flow, and I read through it and the flow seemed fine-

I'm still a bit confused, to be completely honest.

I guess I'll stop worrying about it

My first part of the notes, it seems like, center a bit more on the previous chapter. Apparently I cried a lot while writing this, but considering this chapter is the shouting match- hmm. I just keep confusing myself...

Okay, well, something I know for certain: the idea for this chapter came to me after my English exam (freaking two months ago. I thought I'd get more done in the summer, and it actually feels like I'm getting LESS done...) I had this image in my head of Leon getting to his feet and yelling at everyone to stop yelling, but, y'know, they all had to be yelling first.

Apparently, I considered writing Shad's POV of this conversation

and Aerith's POV

and Riku's

Hmm.

Actually, from my notes, I apparently I was pretty convinced that Riku's POV of the conversation would be in the next chapter. That idea was scrapped, obviously.

This chapter is written from an almost omniscient POV...

and then it swaps to Riku's

And then to Joseph's!!

This chapter (well, whole conversation, really) is just "RANDOM SWAPPING OF POVS CENTRAL!!" (except it's not really random, but you get the point)

I love how they all yell "yelling"

Kairi! Stop demanding proof like that! You sound like-- *shudders* Spoilers. But still-- STOP IT!

Random note, I wrote this in my journal and both times I wrote "proof" it ended up having three o's

kay.

I think that's it.

Oh wait!

Don't think Cid's spear has enough force to knock Riku into a wall and pin him there? Well, tough. Because I say it does, and I'm the author.

kay, that's it.

Good thing that bowl’s plastic (commentary on ch117)

JOURNAL DUMP IN THE LAST POST! jk not really

If you care...

Sorry I haven't been posting to Dead Inside. I've been seriously sidetracked. I promise I'll try and be better about this!!

Okay, so, I think this is where the notes start for this chapter... I only ended up having two groups of notes between these four chapters (at least it wasn't just one, I suppose) So...

My first note on this is that Tifa reminds me of Donna (from Doctor Who) with the whole "Because I did blah"

That, and I love how it's "something about Cloud" pause "again"

I don't know if it actually reads that way, but that's totally how it is in my head

It had to be Yuffie who called Shad a jerkface, because Shad's got nothing on Yuffie. Everyone else here he could've and probably would've stopped.

Shad's probably very upset wherever he is now (well, you know that, but still). If I was the Great Allie, I'd put a description of what he angrily does as a result in parenthesis, but I'm not her and this isn't a comedy. If you happen to like comedies and Super Paper Mario, go read the Great Allie's "the Count's World" fics. You'll enjoy 'em. (that, and the way she writes Dimentio is amazing. Though... I might just have a thing for video game phsycopaths (Dimentio, Ghirihim, Shad... oh dear...))

Tifa's very... blunt. This whole sequence here with Leon telling her to be quick, and then Aerith tells her to be gentle- Idk, there's something about it that I like. It just implies so much about Tifa's character without me actually saying anything, and I really like that.

Because, later in this chapter (I'm hoping your reading this blog AFTER the chapter, because I'm totally giving this away otherwise) it explains that Sephiroth meddled with their thoughts like this frequently, so they've all gotten pretty used to breaking the truth to each other (that sentence sounds weird..) and they know each other's methods. Tifa's very blunt in her methods. She's learned that with Cloud you just have to be blunt, and while that's probably not the best method to use on everyone else, it works.

Though, thinking about it, I have a feeling that they kept Tifa away from Aerith when Aerith's thoughts had been meddled with. Because Aerith and blunt just don't go together, especially not when it's being blunt about Zack... all that just adds up to BAD IDEA!!

hey look! The yelling at my characters portion of my notes!!

"Namiku, you're not telepathic!" (though I have no idea when they were trying to be, since it's been so long, but they must've been trying or I wouldn't have written that)

"Kairi, you are not standing, stop trying to sit down."

"Leon, you do not have a cup of tea." 

Oh, and look, we're randomly swapping POVs (which happens to me a lot when Riku's in the room and I start in NOT his POV, though that actually isn't the reason this time around, I don't think)

HEY!! what happened to my note about the orange bowl!? *can't find it in my notes*

Well, the orange bowl that Aerith goes and gets is a reference to the "all-purpose orange bowl" that we have at my house, which we'd use for cooking, mainly, but also for holding popcorn, and candy, and other things...

Then I broke it... *sniffle* I didn't mean to... I don't even know how it broke. It was either because I dropped the TV remote on it or because I stepped on it... both of which happened at about the same time, so...

 I'm going to wait and see who all asks about stage three before I actually say what it is. I think I left enough clues for you to assume (it was supposed to be revealed in-story, but that was scrapped because it was taking too long)

So, random note (this might've needed to go sooner...) but Sephiroth, actually, didn't show up until after Zack died. Cloud had had trouble with the darkness beforehand, it had calmed down, but then a certain someone's (I might've left enough clues at this point for you to gues who! GASP!) tampering and the overwhelming guilt that resulted from Zack's death spawned Sephiroth. Obviously, Sephiroth was dealt with some time ago.

Exact date? No freaking clue, but I don't quite have an exact date on Zack's death, either. In my head, it's permanently three years ago, even though, reasonably, it should be four if not five. Either way, Sephiroth was probably dealt with about a year after Zack's death. Probably.

I wonder what Toby's up to for most of this. He's just... sittin there...

"I can't tell what's tangled in this mess and what's not"

This reminds me of Shad's rant, and the tangled emotions, and all that crud...

The more important thing is that most of you are probably wondering how Tifa can even tell that things are tangled. If you aren't, well, poo, I'm explaining it anyway.

See, people like Tifa (and Cloud, too) grow so accustomed to the darkness that they can sense its effects on other people. This is either because they know what to look for or because they've just learned to sense it in themselves, and they've grown so attuned to it that they can't help but notice it in other people (I like that second explanation).

Tifa is often blunt about it (no surprise). She senses something wrong in someone and she'll often just say it to their face. I don't know if that's just because she's learned to be blunt with Cloud (as I've said before) or what it is. But she's blunt.

Cloud's much quieter about these sort of things. 

I'm hungry.

I don't have any more notes on this chapter written, and I'm too hungry to think of anything else. So...

Writer’s block… (commentary on ch116)

I haven't missed you at all!

Heh.

I want to strangle someone. Pity I can't, because everyone I could feasibly strangle I need... 

So, plan b, get me Vanitas and a hammer xD

Actually, I'm going to procrastinate by posting a chapter. Though it was probably going to be posted tomorrow if I didn't get to it today...

I could REALLY procrastinate and tell you, in depth, about a dream I had last night. It was this odd crossover between a Legend of Zelda game and the real world, and I was Link, and things were fairly normal for a dream. Then 37 showed up and things just got weird from there...

And that poor light spirit...

anyway, you're going to think I'm utterly crazy if I go into detail, so we're going to get started on what I can post concerning this behemoth of a conversation...

~~

Writing from Kairi's POV is almost refreshing. It casts a different light on everyone, and it's a nice break from the complexities inside everyon else's heads.

Kairi's, apparently, very critical of things. I'm not sure if this is just because of what Sahd did to her, or if she's naturally like that. I haven't written from her POV enough to know. Which is sad. Kairi always seems to be neglected...

"Joseph, I'm surprised you didn't bring this up sooner" What on earth was I referring to when I wrote that? His comment about how Sora's doing? Must be...

No surprise, a lot of what Kairi said in this chapter seriously hurt my heart. I can't remember any specifics, but I can name three just by reading it over again. Sora's probably cringing, wherever he is. If he's coherent. I think he passed out...

Oh, apparently, I wrote this the week before exams, and everyone kept giving me inspiration past ten oclock at night, and I was dead tired.

Oh, and given the next thing I wrote down, I was probably listening to RED while writing this, because the combination of sad RED songs and, well, everything about how Kairi's acting in this chapter, makes me cry. *shrug*

this next note is now irrelevant...

And that is... all my notes on this chapter.

I'll go read through it again and see if I can think of anything else.

Oh, Kairi's scaring Namine again- oh wait, that other time I'm thinking of is book 5... whoops...

I love Joseph's reaction, practically lunging across the table at Kairi. That was like the key thing that kept me from deciding to scrap this. Yes, I did consider scrapping this. Don't ask why, it's irrelevant and no longer matters.

hmm, that's it.

Pity.